Writer's Block ~ Oh wait! I mean blog. . . .

Love is in the Air!

2012-02-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Honestly, the hubs and I aren’t big on this holiday after 12 years (though I love the man beyond comprehension), but I can write about romance day in and day out.

So, today, I’m going to share a scene with you from my current WIP, Doppelganger. I love this manuscript. Emma, my mc, is probably the softest woman I’ve ever written. I tend to lean towards strong, fighting characters, but Emma is the complete opposite.

Just a quick intro…the following scene is a dream, but seeing as how Emma has no memory of her past, she’s beginning to wonder if these dreams are actually memories. She’s married, but the man she’s dreaming of is not her husband. It’s causing quite a bit of turmoil. This dream takes place on a beach in Mexico with the mystery man… (Still needs deeper edits, so don’t judge too harshly.)

(Luckenbooth)
The night was warm. Dark, too, with the exception of the occasional lit home along the beach. The clear night sky shone brilliantly with the cluster of light from the Milky Way.
He sat behind me, legs on either side of me, his bare chest—only because I now wore his shirt—pressed gently into my back with slow, even breaths. We sat quiet, satisfied from making love on the beach.
My painting of the sunset with his luckenbooth and the easel blocked our view of the sky to our left. My discarded sundress lay gently fluttering in the breeze to our right. Dark waves crashed on the shore directly in front of us, practically invisible to the naked eye.
It was a perfect setting and a perfect night.
“Seriously,” I said, “I don’t think we should go back.”
He kissed the back of my head and brushed my hair over my left shoulder to kiss my right. “Em, believe me, if it were possible, I’d leave everything just to be here with you.”
“I know.” I drew a deep breath. “Promise we won’t be gone forever.”
“Promise. And whenever we’re feeling the pressure of our lives and want to get away again, all we have to do is look up.”
I looked up as if commanded. “The stars?”
He chuckled. “Not just any stars. There are entire stories up there, Em. It’s like reading the best books in the universe. We can get away any time we want.”
“Pray tell.”
“Okay, well . . .” He trailed off and shifted slightly behind me. He pointed nearly straight up. “There, look. Three all together. Perseus—"
“I know that one,” I said. “Killed Medusa and saved the princess from the sea monster.”
“Saved Andromeda from Cetus, yes,” he said, sounding amused. “Very good. He’s connected to Taurus who is connected to Orion.”
I twist slightly, but only see a dark shadow of him in my peripheral. “Taurus is an astrological sign, I thought. Aren’t you a Taurus?” I looked up into the sky. “Which ones are they? I can’t tell.”
To our right, he swiped a somewhat even surface into the sand and drew a bunch of dots, then outlined around them until I saw the shape of the constellation Taurus, the Bull. I searched for the grouping in the sky and found it after a good ten seconds or so.
“It’s not just an astrological sign,” he said. “That’s a story about Zeus and how he fell in love.” His palms ran over my arms until they found my hands. His lips lay right over my ear when he continued. “He disguised himself as a white bull in order to attract the princess Europa. Drawn to his beauty, she climbed right onto his back. Once he had her, he swam to the island Crete where he turned into his true form and made love to her.”
When he didn’t continue, I said, “That’s it?”
He laughed. “Is there anything better than making love to the woman you love?”
I shook my head. “Where’s mine?”
“Virgo?” He pointed straight ahead and then down. “Can’t see her.”
“Does she have a story as good as yours?”
I felt his shoulders lift in a shrug. “She’s a virgin.”
I laughed. “That’s all?”
He chuckled and nuzzled his face into the back of my head. “Only that she’s identified with a lot of heroines, one being Ceres, the goddess of the harvest.”
“How boring.”
“You said it, not me.”
I sent an elbow back into his ribs. “I like the heroine part, though. The heroine and the bull.”
“We’ll storm a lot of castles, you and I.”

So You’re a “Newb” ~ Now what?

2012-02-13T11:00:00.000-05:00

You’ve just written your first novel… now what?

As a prior “newb”, this was a daunting question, and one I found a fairly simple answer to once I did a bit of Googling.

You query.

As a not-so-new-pre-pubbed-writer, my advice to you is this: Don’t query.

Not yet.

There are far too many things out there for you to learn, and if you’re completely clueless (or damn near close), you aren’t ready.

I remember hearing things like “go to conferences” and “join a writer’s association” and thinking, why would I want to do that? Why? Because they have INFORMATION. Any YOU need it.

First, learn the writer speak. GMC, MC, MRU, CP, MS, BETA, WIP, Show vs Tell… for starters and the list goes on. Here’s a great Publishing Dictionary from the ladies at Bookends.

Second, learn how to apply the lessons behind some of those crazy acronyms! Did you know you can take workshops online? Personally, I love SavvyAuthors.com but there are so many others.

Along with the workshops, you really need to come out of your hermit shell and join the community. We are large and in charge, and we’re also here to help. Writers are the most supportive group! We understand your crazy like nobody else. You can’t tell Mom, “Man, seriously, Emma woke me up last night with the craziest conversation she’d like to have with Noah.” Mom is going to nod and smile and look like she’s listening, but inside it goes something like this: “I wonder if this is code for I’ve become a schizophrenic. Maybe I should hit up the WebMD later.”

If you aren’t on Twitter or some other platform, do that now. Follow all the agents representing your genre. Follow their blogs. Start building your own platform. Blog, Twitter, G+, Facebook, Triberr…whatever. And more than one. At my last conference, I learned how important this is, and not just for after you’re lucky enough to find representation… Did you know a good platform base can be a selling point for an editor? Don’t wait. (Just my opinion—don’t yell at me for it. You know who you are…I see you.)

READ. Read read read what you’re writing. When I started, I read things like James Patterson but wanted to write things like Stephanie Meyer. Two different genres! Not. Good. You have to know what your future fans are expecting.

DON’T FOLLOW TRENDS! Vampires (hot as they are) are the kiss of death, and as someone with a 3-book plot idea full of vampires, I wish nothing more than for that fad to kick back in, but unless it’s amazing, no agent or editor in their right mind is going to give it a shot. By the time you see a trend happening, and it’s popular, agents and editors are already way past it and looking for that new idea. You’re already too late. So if you notice a trend in Garden Gnome romance (LOL, omg, wouldn’t that be hilarious?!), and you LOVE it, the people that matter and will pay you money for it are already worn out on it. (And now my mind is spinning over this gnome romance, lol… my muse is akin to Satan sometimes. I’m seeing a blog post series in my future. Hmmmmm.)

Lastly, the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to grow the largest, biggest, baddest backbone you can. You. Will. NEED. It. You will receive harsh criticism from everywhere. If your crit partner isn’t rough, get a new one. I’m NOT kidding. How else are you going to learn? Honesty is the best policy or you won’t make it. None of us are perfect and in this business you need people to point the flaws out. It’s tough, but true.

I know I’m missing a A LOT, so if anyone has something to add, please comment!

Book Review ~ Fracture

2012-02-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

Eleven minutes passed before Delaney Maxwell was pulled from the icy waters of a Maine lake by her best friend Decker Phillips. By then her heart had stopped beating. Her brain had stopped working. She was dead. And yet she somehow defied medical precedent to come back seemingly fine

-despite the scans that showed significant brain damage. Everyone wants Delaney to be all right, but she knows she's far from normal. Pulled by strange sensations she can't control or explain, Delaney finds herself drawn to the dying. Is her altered brain now predicting death, or causing it?

Then Delaney meets Troy Varga, who recently emerged from a coma with similar abilities. At first she's reassured to find someone who understands the strangeness of her new existence, but Delaney soon discovers that Troy's motives aren't quite what she thought. Is their gift a miracle, a freak of nature-or something much more frightening?
For fans of best-sellers like Before I Fall and If I Stay, this is a fascinating and heart-rending story about love and friendship and the fine line between life and death.

I’m having a great “find” year in YA so far. First Cinder and now this. Holy gods, this was good. I downloaded the sample from B&N and was hooked instantly. Great start to what turned out to be a serious page turner. True story, I was headed to bed @ 11pm, decided to check out the first few pages first…I was up until 3:30. I tried to go to bed @ 2, couldn’t stop thinking about it, rolled over, picked it back up. Had to force myself to put it down @ 3:30. That’s how good this is.

Certain things catch me in books, but this particular bit I have to share.

A lot can happen in eleven minutes. Decker can run two miles easily in eleven minutes. I once wrote an English essay in ten. No lie. And God knows Carson Levine can talk a girl out of her clothes in half that time.

Eleven minutes might as well be eternity underwater. According to the lessons from health class, it only takes three minutes without air for loss of consciousness. Permanent brain damage begins at four minutes. And then, when the oxygen runs out, full cardiac arrest occurs. Death is possible at five minutes. Probable at seven. Definite at ten.

Decker pulled me out at eleven.

Passages like this make me shudder.

So many things about this stabbed me emotionally. Decker—oh God, Decker—her mom… Damn. I find the parents in YA lacking in character a lot, so when the subplot with the mom started and I found myself gravitating emotionally toward her, I was really shocked. The parents are actually parents in this book.

One thing is for sure, this is a one-day read. You won’t be able to put it down.

Click the pic to head straight to Barnes and Noble.

Do it YourDamnSelf: Line Edit;-)

2012-02-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Like I mentioned earlier this week, I don’t have a problem doing my own line edits. I want to make sure my voice remains as true to character as possible by the time it hits an actual editor.

So what’s the process?

I use Microsoft Word 2007, but in all Word programs, you’ll find the “find” button. In this case, it’s the top right. Type the word you’re searching for in the box, click Find Next and it will begin highlighting (temporarily) the word. Click button again for the “next” location. OR, and this is what I do, click Find In and then Main Document. It will highlight (temporarily) all of them in your doc. Just click the highlight button on your bar under Fonts to highlight permanently.

All that you need to do now is restructure where needed!

Don’t know what words to look for?

I’ve got you….

all
could
feel/feeling/felt
hear/heard
just/then
knew/know/think/thought
see/saw/look
slowly/quickly
so/very/really
taste/smell
that
there/it
was/were/am/is/are/be/had/has

Some of you just got the bug eye, didn’t you? LOL, I know I did the first time. That’s a hell of a lot of words. And now you’re asking why…

There are words that just aren’t necessary. (Did anyone catch that? “Just” wasn’t needed there!) Use them too much and you lesson the impact when you do need that punch. So… all, could, just, then, so, very, really, that ~ sometimes they aren’t necessary. Tighten your sentences by losing them in most cases, but not all! You might need the impact.

Some of these words are telling words! Can you guess which ones? Feel, feeling, felt, hear, heard, see, saw, look, taste, smell—all of them telling words. You DO need them in some cases, but how often does your character say them before they tell you what they’re hearing or seeing or smelling? For example, “I saw the car pull up and park across the street, then jumped when I heard him honk the horn.” OR you could say, “The car pulled up across the street and I jumped when he honked the horn.” Tighter, and you’re not patronizing the reader by telling them the mc saw and heard what they saw and heard.

“There” and “It” begin a lot of sentences when you don’t need them. It’s called a delay of subject. I’m so guilty of this. “There is/was/were” then you get to the subject of the sentence. If you cut it, restructure slightly, the sentence will be tighter. Example: “There is a giant gorilla cooking tacos in my kitchen and you’re playing cards.” OR you can say, “You’re playing cards while a giant gorilla cooks tacos in my kitchen?” I just made that up off the top of my head, but you get what I’m saying.

Was/were/am/is/are/be/had/has are most likely used as a verb form of “to be”. In some cases you can find a better verb, like, say, instead of saying “was standing” you can say “stood”. In other cases you can cut it all together: “with hair that is like the color of a noon day sun”…stupid but, you could cut words and say “with hair the color of a noon day sun”…and there you have a cleaner, tighter sentence. For me, these particular words are the hardest for me, but try shifting the subject of the sentence around and see how that works. You might be surprised what you come up with.

Here’s a good list of words: http://www.vivianna.net/SexiestWordsAround.pdf . The internet is full of sites with great replacement words. Thesaurus.com is a great tool to replace something like, say, walk slowly. Put in walk and find the synonym that means the same thing. (The answer could be amble, for example.)

Okay, that’s it! Easy. Time suck, but easy. And you get to manage your voice while doing it. How awesome is that??

Anything to add? I’m no expert, so I’m positive I’m missing something huge…

Book Review ~ Cinder

2012-02-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth’s fate hinges on one girl. . . .
Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She’s a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister’s illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai’s, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world’s future.

I was weary going into this one. This was my first retelling of a classic, but also cyborg Cinderella? Wha-what? BUT, I gave it a shot…

…and freakin’ loved it. LOVED, I say.

Did I mention love?

I don’t read much science fiction, but I had enough Star Trek/Wars background to help me through the science stuff, and past that, I loved this world. I loved that it was based in Beijing—Marissa Meyer did a fabulous job setting up the culture. I’ve never been there, but now I feel like I have.

Fabulous characters—I loved, loathed, loved…loved and loathed. Instantly fell in love with Prince Kai and instantly hated the stepmother. Going in, you know you’re going to hate her b/c you know she’s going to be a beotch, but for real, she was not cool.

And while the story of Cinderella is there, it’s more just background music to this fantastic plot and Meyer added so much more to it that I was left guessing a whole hell of a lot. The end of this left me drop jawed and a bit on the fanatical side about needing the next installment. I’m pissed I found it so close to the release date, lol. I don’t want to wait that long.

On the writer side of things, Meyer did a great great job showing this story. She’s incredibly talented.

Click the pic to head straight to Barnes and Noble. You won’t regret it, I promise.

To Pay or not to Pay ~ A Tale of Editing

2012-02-07T19:36:00.001-05:00

The longer I’m in this “business” of ~~writing~~ storytelling, the more ~~craziness~~ I ~~come across~~ learn. Today I’m hearing that learning how to copyedit your own MS isn’t popular among a fairly big number of writers. Some of you would rather pay a professional…. GREAT!! I am down with that if you have the funds saved.

But here’s my question: If you’re offered the opportunity to learn how to do your own copyediting, why wouldn’t you take it?

Here’s why I ask: This is your voice you’re risking in another person’s hands.

YES, our manuscripts end up in other hands already and hopefully will end up in an editor’s hands, but for now you have the option to tell your crit partner to kick dirt cuz your character wouldn’t even consider using a particular word or phrase.

I firmly believe that if you copyedit your own stuff, and if it’s clean, and it holds onto the voice you hear in your head, the less you’ll lose when it comes to doing that final edit.

Obviously, I haven’t been to that point, but I have to wonder how often voice gets lost in this process when it’s not the cleanest written work you can turn over?

Copyediting is NOT hard. Time consuming? Hellz yes. HELLZ yes. You will need coffee or tea and aspirin and mood music or utter silence and really thick walls and and and… But once started, it’s not hard. And honestly, it’s only that first time that will be the worst. Once you do it, you’ve already learned how not to do it as bad in the next manuscript and the cleaning will be minor. I absolutely do know this from experience.

Okay, so here’s my example of why I believe this effects your voice. I came across this last night while looking for “was” and “were”.

Before: In daylight, his skin was more the color of warm chocolate. What remained clear in the dark were the pale grey-blue of his eyes.

After: In daylight, his skin resembled the color of warm chocolate. Only the pale grey-blue of his eyes remained true in the dark of night.

Is it just me or is the “after” a different voice? I actually stared at this for a while and considered whether my character, Emma, would talk like that. Or would she phrase it a whole other way I haven’t thought of yet? I decided to keep it, but when I do a final read through for voice and pacing, if that jumps out at me as not sounding like her, it’s gone. It’s hard to tell when you’re jumping around for specific words, so you have to be careful.

Okay, so that’s my opinion on the subject… I’m keeping my words out of the hands of the professionals until I think it’s vampire sparkly and cross my fingers their suggestions for sentence structure doesn’t wreck the voice I hear daily/nightly/hauntingly.

Cup o’ Self-Doubt, Anyone?

2012-01-11T22:39:00.001-05:00

Several writers posted on this FB page I follow regarding their ability to write, but not only write, but write well. I think one person actually said, “I’m not good enough for my story.”

*falls out of chair*

It’s a Maryland group, so you bet your ass I stayed clear of the water. No way am I drinking their self-doubt.

The first writer posted and I was like, oh, how sad. Buck up chick! It’s all good.

The second and third and fourth chimed in and I was like… *blink* *blink*. Okay, really? Number one, the water is clearly bad so everyone drop your water glass, and number two, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

We’ve all been there. We’ve read that book that was utter brilliance. A canvas of words painted with such artistry that we just know we can never compare.

But let me ask you this: Why not and how do you know that for sure?

Here’s what I’m learning. It’s all about the voice. Who’s voice, you ask? Good question. Excellent, in fact.

Is it yours?

NO.

This isn’t your story. *insert comedic laugh track* It’s that fake person’s living inside your head. The one that wakes you up at midnight, one, four, six a.m. Your only job is to put it on paper.

That fake person is your voice.

Once you let that person take the wheel, you have to let them drive. It’s imperative, or that brilliant story idea you have will end up in that file labeled “Dead MS’s”. O-o-o-o-oh yes, I have one.

Your only job as a writer is to learn your craft. Learn to show the story instead of telling it. While your fake person is driving, you need to soak up all the knowledge you can so their story shines. Get to know GMC and MRU. Cuddle with them a little bit. They’re going to be your bestest friends from here on out.

That said, never follow a rule off a cliff. Learn them, yes, of course, but damn… Don’t lose your voice in the process!

And the next time you read brilliance, say, Wow. I can’t wait for this author to read my brilliance some day. It’s a way better feeling then the one that says, Oh, man, I suck ballz.

Happy Writing!!

*scampers off to write something brilliant*

Creating Character

2012-01-02T13:02:00.001-05:00

Wow, hey! Long time… I got sucked up in Nano, then post Nano. What a weird/bad/good/awesome experience that was. 90 something thousand words between two different novels—one very bad, one very good and still a wip I hope to finish in the next couple weeks.

Anyway!

I’m talking to my sister yesterday about 2 of my ms’s. One is an older edit in progress and the second is my current wip. She’s never read any of my stuff before (full time mom of 3, full time job, and a college student doesn’t leave her much spare time) and was very excited over my babies. Yes, they’re my children, lol. She, like many others, said she loved my books. That said, she’s not a writer so I have to take that with a grain of salt. Plus, she’s family. It’s like a given. I only ever really listen to my crit partners.

What she said that got me thinking, though, was that she loved my characters. She thought that while I had awesome stories, my characters were what made them. She loved and hated and felt for them.

So I have to ask myself what it was that I did. What steps did I take to create my characters? And I really had no idea. If you’re anything like me, they speak to you. Seriously, Emma, my latest main character, woke me up in September with something very close to this:

In a world where women are a rare commodity, Emma Tucker is man's greatest enemy. She fights for freedom but is held captive to the love of two men—one her husband, the other her worst enemy. If only she could remember which one is which.

I didn’t have her name, but I knew her story. That, of course, is the refined version which used to be my first paragraph. Emma literally woke me out of a dead sleep and forced me downstairs to my computer. I wrote an entire page for her, then put the ms to bed. This is what I do for my characters. I listen to them.

Can you imagine if I’d not gotten out of bed? That paragraph hovered in that moment of half wake half sleep and I never would have remembered that in the morning. Never. Now I have a pitch.

So, listening, I guess you could say is step one.

Step two: I pay attention! Not just to my favorite characters in books. Don’t you have some favorite TV shows or movies? What makes those characters great? What mannerisms make them unique? Have you ever watched something without the sound? Try it if you haven’t. I swear, you’ll learn even more about that character. There’s so much to learn just by watching.

I truly believe great characters are in the details. Everyone wants to give their male leads these chiseled god-like features, but what makes them unique if you don’t do what Cassie Clare did to Jace in The Mortal Instruments? She gave him a chipped tooth. I’m beginning to hate characters who don’t have minor details like this. And I don’t think they have to be flaws. They can be anything. Laugh lines. A mole. Whatever. Find that actor/actress you’ve chosen to represent your mc and pick them apart. Find that character on television and pick apart how they react to things. Seriously, Chandler on Friends anyone? Lots of arm gestures, the vocal inflections, the way he bounces on his feet and talks with his eyes…. I could go on all day. What a great character.

Lastly, show, don’t tell. We hear it all the time. There is nothing worse than having your mc tell me how hot for teacher she is over the guy in the room. And then goes on and on and on about it. I want to yank my eyeballs out and bleed all over that book. Then request my money back.

Show me how hot that character is in the way he walks, talks, looks around, anything!! Describe them that one time and I’m golden. I don’t need a “Edward’s so sparkly and his eyes are so golden” every other page. I love the way a character can just walk in the room. Or leans against the wall… Take these pics for example. They each tell a different story, am I right?

Show. That’s all. Show me what makes them unique to you and they’ll be unique to me.

That’s all I have to say on the subject. Anything to add?

Is that the sound of chickens? Ba-bock!

2011-10-21T20:27:00.001-04:00

So I finally settled on a project for NaNoWriMo. I’ve been juggling between three ideas and finally settled on a full plot rewrite of my very first manuscript.

It’s the writer’s version of cheating. You can say it. Cheating.

I think I’m chickening out. Writing an entirely new book scares me. It’s been a year since I wrote something totally new. I wrote my first book TWICE already. There’s no telling how many times I revised it.

I wrote my second book, then decided it needed to be three books, so I started over. Wrote two and a half… then quit. To revise. The muse said, You’re an idiot cuz you’re gonna change book one upteen million times and books two and three will be useless. She was right. And guess what? I just rewrote book one. After a billion revisions. New beginning, new ending. Oh, and you know what? Books two and three are useless. The muse is smart. Sarcastic, but smart.

Then came the 2010 NaNo. I’d been playing with that idea for like a year, then buckled down and finally did it. I literally used NaNo as a reason to get the damn idea out of my head. Guess who rewrote the entire thing plot and all last summer? *raises hand* (Ew, but I had some “interest” in that one, so it’s closer to perfection with each rewrite. How freakin sad is that?!)

I’m currently revising said NaNo (again), and deep in line edits for the first book of my vampire series. I’m crazy to add another book under my belt, but now I’m itching. At least it’s not an entirely new book! LOL. I’ve had a YA bouncing around my head for a year but the world building is going to be nasty. NASTY, I say. Then I recalled this seriously old story I used to write in my head pre-writer days last month. That thing is basically plotted out because I freaking wrote the entire thing in my head for God’s sake. I should write that one.

But I can’t.

The scenes for this new rewrite are slamming into me with warp speed force. I can’t say it’s totally cheating. I’m taking out half of the plot, changing up an entire main character backstory. Two main’s actually. Does it help that I have zero gmc’s for my antagonist yet? That’s right. ZERO. I never did, which was the problem to begin with.

Good Lord I need help.

So, uh, doing NaNo? Buddy me Click the link on the top right to find me! Watch my rewrite in action.

Nano Prep: World Building

2011-10-06T11:25:00.001-04:00

There's less than a month to prepare for NaNoWriMo. Are you getting ready? Plotting away? Most of us have our ways of preparing. Plotters are surrounded by whiteboards, post-its, notecards . . . stuff. Pantsers (like me) are plotting in their heads. Sort of:) We're just going to wing it and keep our fingers crossed we come up with something fabulous.

But here's where we can all get into trouble: World Building. We spend so much time working out plot and character that we forget to build the world. And it can be somewhat realistic and similar to ours, or it can be basic and not really believable. OR you can make it REAL. Knowing every inch of your world will only help you in the long run.

Before I start, let me tell you that I am NO expert on world building by any stretch of the imagination. But I have taken a couple workshops... Putting the information I've gathered to use has yet to be put to the test, and I have to get over my procrastination hurdle to implement.

World building is no joke. This isn't simply about viewing the world from the outside. I think what makes world building the most difficult is that in most cases you're using environments that most people live in day to day. It has to be realistic--fantasy or not. And those people will criticize you to no end if you get it wrong.

So to start, it's important to do your research. If you're writing a historical, for example, you don't want to compare someone to fine china if fine china doesn't exist yet in that period. If you use street names and describe areas, going off memory isn't necessarily the best way to go. Did you know Google Earth will take you to street level? Put in your address, drag the "figure" to the street and all the buildings will come up around you. It's brilliant. You can "walk" down any street you want. Well, almost. It's damn near close. (Also, a little creepy that technology like this exists...) Anyway, get your geology set up and straightened out to near perfection or you're going to lose readers.

Okay, so that's your first step. What else is there, you ask? Good question. Depending on how fantastical your world, you have governments to build. Spiritual beliefs. What are your people like culturally? Any taboos? What sort of clothing do they wear? Climates. Architecture. Language. Race. Are they technological? Magical? What sort of medicine do they rely on? Transportation. Commerce. And finally, plant life and animals.

The evolution of your people are very important. Some of the answers you come up with for the above questions come directly from this evolution. What part of their history led them to that point?

Out of those answers, are there any that can add to your plot? Any that will add conflict? Poisonous plants? Will any of the technology create a natural disaster? Will a prudence in culture cause a problem for your main character? So many possibilities for conflict exist in the answers you come up with.

Obviously, if you're not delving really far into a fantasy realm, you won't have a whole lot of work to do. I might be a little jealous:) But knowing your world is super important regardless of genre.

A Day in the Life: Chapter Editing

2011-09-28T22:22:00.001-04:00

This is me:

I remember when I’d say something like I’m revising/editing my manuscript today. This is the easy part. Cuz, you know, it’s like reading your favorite book over and over again. Am I right?

So I’d read. I’d reword a few sentences. Decide to delete or add in a haphazard fashion…

God. I really miss those days.

If this is a day in your revising life, I envy you.

I’ve grown up since then. Here’s my list of open internet/doc tabs:

#1 and the most important . . . Pandora Radio. Who’s with me?

#2 Thesaurus.com. This is a must. Do Not, under any circumstances, trust Microsoft Word to give you verb replacement options. It’s too basic.

#3 Savvy Authors. Why? Because they have an autocritter. If you aren’t a member, try this: Auto Crit Editing Wizard. This autocritter makes me its bitch. It tells me what words I’m over-using as well as pinning down words that lead to passive voice or “delay of subject”. And most importantly, you’re telling words such as feel, felt, saw, see, look, hear, heard… 95% of the time you’ll find it in a telling situation.

#4 could be any randomly searched topic necessary for any given subject.

So that’s my Internet. Then I have my TWO Word docs open. That’s right. TWO.

#5 is my original manuscript

#6 is my edit doc. On this edit doc I perform all the totally effed up changes, highlights, notes, whatever… it all happens there. That way, if I make a big change and change my mind, I have the original stuff on the other doc.

I paste in a chapter at a time.

(#7 If you have beta notes, you’d have that doc open too.)

My Headers and Footers look like this:

Why? Because I start checking my chapter for setting details. I go through each part of the chapter and check for at least 4 of the 5 senses. You can’t always have taste… I highlight by color. Yes, I’m that big of a dork. If I scan thru the chapter and see a good variation of 4 colors, I’m golden.

One thing down.

Next, scene and sequel. For this I use the comment boxes.

If you don’t know about scene and sequel, I posted about them ALL month All the steps are laid out.

If I can’t find a step, I fix/add/adjust/work miracles/search for weapons.

Second task done, and crazily enough, those are the easy parts.

Next comes the autocritter. Once I get my report up, I use the Find function and highlight all the overused words. AND, there’s a lot.

I almost fell out of my chair on this report for an unedited chapter. In reality, this is what I did:

I might have petted the screen. Just a little. With a single fingertip.

Trust me when I say, if you start using this feature—from whatever source—you’ll find your active sentence structure will come naturally.

This is also the time when some of those highlighted words need a good verb replacement, hence, thesaurus.com.

Warning: You will be cross-eyed and grumpy upon completion of chapter. In case of humorless groans and sneers of hatred, use your ever-present search tab to open Twitter. Use 140 characters to curse. Breathe. Sag in chair.

Open original manuscript and paste in your fresh new chapter over old crap version and yell things at computer monitor (I beat you, you bastard!! Like that.).

Start over. *shoulders tense* Wail. NOOOOOO!

And THAT, my good friends, are my ridiculously organized and painful steps to editing a chapter. Once you send off finished chapters to beta’s, you can use them for plot holes, etc… Those, I’m afraid, just aren’t easy enough to find unless you step away from the doc for a few solid months. Going back with a fresh perspective is the only cure for that. Why do this part first? It’ll give your beta’s a smoother read and they can focus more on your plot situation rather than wince over your sentence structure.

Book Review: Glow

2011-09-26T12:59:00.002-04:00

What if you were bound for a new world, about to pledge your life to someone you'd been promised to since birth, and one unexpected violent attack made survival—not love—the issue?

Out in the murky nebula lurks an unseen enemy: the New Horizon. On its way to populate a distant planet in the wake of Earth's collapse, the ship's crew has been unable to conceive a generation to continue its mission. They need young girls desperately, or their zealous leader's efforts will fail. Onboard their sister ship, the Empyrean, the unsuspecting families don't know an attack is being mounted that could claim the most important among them...

Fifteen-year-old Waverly is part of the first generation to be successfully conceived in deep space; she was born on the Empyrean, and the large farming vessel is all she knows. Her concerns are those of any teenager—until Kieran Alden proposes to her. The handsome captain-to-be has everything Waverly could ever want in a husband, and with the pressure to start having children, everyone is sure he's the best choice. Except for Waverly, who wants more from life than marriage—and is secretly intrigued by the shy, darkly brilliant Seth.

But when the Empyrean faces sudden attack by their assumed allies, they quickly find out that the enemies aren't all from the outside.

Okay, so, I LOVED this book. I read it in less than a day. It's sci-fi, but don't let that scare you away. Like Across the Universe, the science is very basic and won't lead you confused even a little. Everything is laid out in ways that are easy to understand.

Anyway, why I loved this . . . the contrasts, the similarities. You have two ships, one with a crew of adults with no kids, the other with a crew of kids with no adults. Seeing how they react to their situations was both heartwrenching and sickening. Then you have the subtle way the author shows you how the New Horizon's leader becomes who she is and why. And you understand it, and you feel sypathy.

I picked this book up on a whim and am so happy I did. (The display said "fans of Hunger Games . . ." which is why I even looked--totally false advertisement I might add.) I couldn't put this down. I can't wait for the next book which is due out next summer. I hate it when I find something this good so early!!

Anyway, it's worth a read!!

Chapter Anatomy: Action

2011-09-23T20:00:00.001-04:00

So here we are at the end of the scene/sequel breakdown. Action. Your main character came to a decision after a bit of quandary that followed an instant reaction based on emotion. Now it’s time for the action.

Between your decision and action, your next goal should be clearly stated. That said, once your action is finished, you should somehow restate your goal in the next goal/desire area.

Okay, so here’s my example. In this you’ll see the last bit of decision, the following action, and the goal to the next scene sequence.

My heart drummed erratically against my ribcage and my mouth went dry. I didn’t have a choice but to go alone. Common sense screamed not to, but not going at all wasn’t even an option. I lurched from the couch, stuffing my cell into the back pocket of my jeans.
The drive into the city gave me plenty of time to mull over my first and last visit to Cian’s club. Jon talked me into going with him after a ridiculous argument with Travis sent me on a vindictive rampage. Everything was fine at first. I was having a good time, and despite the odd look of Jon’s new friends, they seemed harmless enough.
After one drink, though, I’d somehow ended up so drunk I couldn’t control the spinning of the room. Cian stood, pressed against my back, clutching my arms. I couldn’t raise a hand to stop him as he slid one cool hand up to my bare shoulder and along my neck.
My words sounded over what felt like a thick tongue. “Wh—what are—?”
“Do you love your life, lass?” he’d asked in his deep accented baritone, the words rolling together to curl around his tongue. The simple R’s a vibration in his tone. Every L a seduction in and of itself. When I nodded, he’d said, “I only wish to see how much.” A muscular arm snaked around my waist, drawing me closer, his body as cool and hard as granite, his lips at my ear. “Relax,” came the whisper in my ear, arousing, promising conquest and protection.
It was over as soon as it began. Cian returned to the couch with his girlfriend, or lover as he preferred to call her, Heidi, and the room stilled around me. Conversations continued. I stood there with fear and shock twisting me in various directions. It was over and I wasn’t sure if it happened at all until a trip to the bathroom revealed long healing cut on my neck. That and a spinning memory of a tongue stroking along the heated skin of my neck. Just once over the open wound. Once was all it took to make me violently sick right there in the sink.
A car honked behind me, bringing me back with a start to the red light long turned green. I blinked up at the sign for E. Pratt Street. Without realizing it, I’d been rubbing the spot on my neck where the mark was long gone. A shudder ran through me and my foot jerked on the accelerator. The car lurched forward, tires squealing. I cursed under my breath. I had to stay focused and get to Jon.
I parked in a garage several blocks from the club on Fleet Street and ran the distance. Each passerby ignored me because I was just another crazy loon. They’d seen it all. A blonde chick running down the street in Baltimore wearing jeans and a T-shirt was probably one of the more normal sightings.
Near the glass front doors, I ran full speed into Kyle who didn’t so much as tilt during the collision. He did, however, grab both my arms to stop me from falling back onto the concrete.

You might have noticed that running into Kyle became the conflict. Once you get the hang of this, it’s pretty seamless! And like I said in the beginning, you can have as many or as little scene/sequel setups in your chapter as it takes. But what’s also great about this, is that you probably already do this naturally. It’s all about your MRU’s—Motivation Reaction Units. We react in real life, so chances are you’re watching these scenes unfold and letting the reactions happen naturally. And writing them that way, obviously.

Going back in revisions, if you feel like taking a few extra minutes to make sure the structure is there, I highly suggest it. You’re already putting yourself through the torturous hours of line edits (if you’re serious about this, you are, anyway) so what’s another half hour or so? I mean, it took me all of two minutes to see I didn’t state the goal in this last example and figure out where to add it. So take the time. It’ll be worth it. We want our novels to be brilliant rather than just simply good.

That easy road has it’s own set of landmines. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

2011-09-22T14:23:00.001-04:00

I’ve been struggling through a sequel to an okay urban fantasy for a couple months, reading it off and on because let’s face it, there are just better books out there. I wasn’t sure what it was that was throwing me.

Now I know.

So, here’s what a lot of “experts” will tell you, and I couldn’t agree more: Make it hard on your characters, turn their worlds upside down and twist ‘em all up. Do it on purpose. You want the reader to yell or cry or laugh or whatever. That’s what I’ve been going over in the scene/sequel stuff. Set a goal, but don’t let the character off the hook. If you let them off, where’s the fun in that?

Okay, so you’ve set up your big Oh Shit moment, don’t make the following mistakes:

Don’t let your character off easy. Suffering for two pages tops is not going to work for me. (Hence this blog post.) Make them suffer. Make it last. I know you love them, but damn . . . Conflict is what will sell your book, not a warm fuzzy slumber party.

Don’t write yourself into such a dark corner that the only way out is, well, dumb. (And already done once in the same story, hence this blog post.) These tigers Lara’s about to whoop ass on aren’t going to lie down and take a nap just because it would be convenient. At least try to leave yourself some wiggle room. In your “sequel” you want your character to sort through their options to set up for the next goal, so at the very least, give them OPTIONS.

Just think about this the next time you write yourself into an impossible situation. I may have bought this author’s second book, but I will NOT buy her third. Loss of sales, loss of word-of-mouth. And I now hate her character. Like, a lot. All because the answers were handed to her on silver platter. But it’s not her fault, she was created that way. (Did anyone else hear Jessica Rabbit? No? Huh…)

Okay, rant over! Hopefully I fall in love with the next book I pick up… The more I love, the fewer crazy things I have to say. Okay, that’s a lie.

Chapter Anatomy: Decision

2011-09-21T17:38:00.001-04:00

Two more parts to go in the scene/sequel construction!

Today we’re moving on to decision. In this portion, you’ll find that the decision is tightly woven into the quandary part of the sequel setup. In fact, it’s so tightly woven that in the example I gave from my ms on Monday for quandary, you might have noticed that it ended in the actual decision.

In decision, your character has come to make a choice regarding his or her next move, or GOAL. Your character may not be sure of the path they choose. This is perfectly okay as long as they’ve chosen the best possible course of action they can possibly imagine. And more importantly, YOU, the writer, have to make sure this decision is crystal clear for your reader. Remember how in the beginning when I discussed the goal and how that should be clearly stated? This is the same thing. Make it clear. It prepares the reader for what’s coming, heightens the anticipation, and will make the stakes or consequences for failure clear.

So, for your viewing pleasure, here’s the last part of my example showing the decision:

“Natalie, shit, where are you? Why aren’t you picking up? I think you were right. Listen, something is definitely going on here and I don't think they'll let me go. I need your help. Please come get me.”
The message ended abruptly and I stared at the phone with wide eyes. My limbs froze. My fingers turned ice cold around the phone. Jon was scared.
Travis would tell me to call the police, but wouldn’t that make things worse? Something told me Cian wouldn’t take kindly to that sort of visit. What if he was a mob boss or a big time drug dealer? Running for the rest of my life didn’t sound tempting. And if I was right about this, there was no way I could get any of my friends involved.
My heart drummed erratically against my ribcage and my mouth went dry. I didn’t have a choice but to go alone. Common sense screamed not to, but not going at all wasn’t even an option.

So that’s it! Decision made and on Friday, the conclusion . . . du dun duuuuuunnnn . . . ACTION.

Chapter Anatomy: Quandary

2011-09-19T09:31:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday! This is the last week of my scene/sequel breakdown. New to my anatomy lessons? Start here: Scene Setting, Goal, Motivation, Conflict, Disaster, Emotion.

Today we’re discussing quandary, or the thought process that follows the emotion, or reaction. Once your character reacts to whatever disaster you set for them, they should go through a period of rational thought. In the beginning, it can seem a little off because you’re coming off a reaction, so it’s skewed by emotion. This is okay. But in the end, rational should win out and the thought process goes as follows:

(From Scene and Structure by Jack M. Bickham)

Review: Self explanatory, I think, but your character reviews recent dilemmas, their overall goal, situations that led them to that point, whatever. This can be as long or as short as you make it. In a romance, the mc may spend a lot more time going back through his or her memories of his or her lover, then, say, a character from and urban fantasy where action is required a little faster.

Analysis: The analysis is where your character tries to figure out the meaning of recent events. You can use this to remind the reader of what’s important and why they should stick it out.

Planning: Once everything is analyzed, then the planning process should come naturally. What are the options? Are there any? All you’re doing is working towards the next GOAL. And we’re almost there, so plan plan plan. Lay it all out.

Simple yeah? Best part, is this area can be TELLING. Yep, that’s right. I give you permission to stop showing and tell away.

Alright, on to my example! Yay! In my urban fantasy example, Natalie’s just seen her brother’s name on the caller ID and tossed the phone away from her instinctively. So let’s see the quandary part of the sequel. . . .

I tossed my phone to the couch where it landed past my feet. It may as well have been a beacon in the dark room. I couldn’t tear my eyes from it.
Tears welled in my eyes. Despite everything, I missed my brother. The brother who could have an entire conversation with me with a single look. The brother who was twenty-five going on twelve. The brother who finished my sentences and took care of me when I was sick . . .
The cell phone lit up, bells chiming a voicemail. Guilt filled me and I buried my face in my hands. Mom and Dad would kill me for giving up on him like this. Besides, there was a nagging sensation deep in my gut over this call. If I ignored it and something happened to Jon, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
Apparently, I didn’t need much convincing. I auto dialed my voicemail and placed the call on speaker. Jon’s voice broke the silence, coming through quiet and urgent. In the background, the muffled sounds of voices and metal music made me strain to make out his words. He was at Cian Tiernay’s dark club, Nocturne, again.
“Natalie, shit, where are you? Why aren’t you picking up? I think you were right. Listen, something is definitely going on here and I don't think they'll let me go. I need your help. Please come get me.”
The message ended abruptly and I stared at the phone with wide eyes. My limbs froze. My fingers turned ice cold around the phone. Jon was scared.
Travis would tell me to call the police, but wouldn’t that make things worse? Something told me Cian wouldn’t take kindly to that sort of visit. What if he was a mob boss or a big time drug dealer? Running for the rest of my life didn’t sound tempting. And if I was right about this, there was no way I could get any of my friends involved.
My heart drummed erratically against my ribcage and my mouth went dry. I didn’t have a choice but to go alone. Common sense screamed not to, but not going at all wasn’t even an option.

And there you have it, the quandary portion of my scene/sequel breakdown. She reviewed, analyzed, and planned which leads directly into Wednesday’s post on DECISION. See you then!

Book Review: Vampire Empire Book 2

2011-09-17T21:59:00.001-04:00

Princess Adele struggles with a life of marriage and obligation as her Equatorian Empire and their American Republic allies stand on the brink of war against the vampire clans of the north. However, the alliance's horrific strategy for total victory drives Adele to abandon her duty and embark on a desperate quest to keep her nation from staining its hands with genocide. Reunited with her great love, the mysterious adventurer known to the world as the Greyfriar, Adele is pursued by her own people as well as her vengeful husband, senator Clark. With the human alliance in disarray, Prince Cesare, lord of the British vampire clan, seizes the initiative and strikes at the very heart of Equatoria.
As Adele labors to bring order to her world, she learns more about the strange powers she exhibited in the north. Her teacher, Mamoru, leads a secret cabal of geomancers who believe Adele is the one who can touch the vast power of the Earth that surges through ley lines and wells up at the rifts where the lines meet. These energies are the key to defeating the enemy of mankind, and if Princess Adele could ever bring this power under her command, she could be death to vampires. But such a victory will also cost the life of Adele's beloved Greyfriar.
The Rift Walker is the second book in a trilogy of high adventure and alternative history. Combining rousing pulp action with steampunk style, the Vampire Empire series brings epic political themes to life within a story of heartbreaking romance, sacrifice, and heroism.

First of all, if you haven’t read Vampire Empire Book One: The Greyfriar, DO IT. By the end of Chapter 1, I was in love with this story. So obviously I was itchy to get to book two. And I was NOT disappointed!

This is not Twilight, my friends. This isn’t even Interview with a Vampire, which is phenomenal in its own right. These are vampires you should fear. And I loved them and all their goriness.

The world building in this (these) novel(s) is amazing. A-MAZE-ING. I almost believe vampires practically decimated the human race in the 1800’s. Seriously. I don’t read a lot of steampunk, but after this, I want to. Hell, I want to write it. If I thought I could world build to this degree of awesomeness, I totally would.

And I have to mention the subplots—which I don’t tend to notice a whole lot of in books—because WOW. I learned recently that in a good subplot, the minor character will tell his/her side as if the story is all about them, and it will be interwoven perfectly with the main plot in ways that will enhance it perfectly. These subplots, well, these characters clearly thought this book was ALL about them. And they were so perfectly interwoven . . . all I have to say is bra-vo, Clay and Susan. This will forever be my bible to how I should construct a subplot. I’m not even kidding a little bit.

As for that main plot . . . Christ. I was yelling at yet another book. I was thrusting fists up into the air during victorious moments, and I was gasping in horror during the not so victorious moments.

I fell deeper in love with Adele and the Greyfriar. Clay and Susan Griffith are doing their job well with these two, because they’re ripping my heart out (and putting it back in and ripping it out and putting it back in… you get the picture) as any good novelist should. I don’t know how they're going to solve all these possible issues, but whatever they do, it’s going to rip my heart out (and hopefully put it back in).

The rest of the characters are so clearly defined and not a single one like another. I hated and loved and was torn by all of them.

So if you’re like me and love vampires, this is a must read. It’s amazing. Epic? Yeah. It’s definitely epic.

Chapter Anatomy: Emotion

2011-09-16T08:48:00.001-04:00

In this post, we’re officially moving on to what we call the “sequel” of scene structure. I covered the first part—scene—in these posts:

GOAL

CONFLICT

DISASTER

(You can find additional posts on my chapter anatomy here: Setting & Motivation.)

So what is the sequel?This is the reaction to the motivation. Your motivating action comes from the disaster. That part of your structure that curbed your mc’s goal. No matter how you wrote your disaster, be it funny haha, or oh shite, your character is going to have a reaction.

There’s two ways you can show your character’s emotion (according to Scene & Structure by Jack M. Bickham): Description or Discussion. In description you’ll set out to show some internal reaction. Note how I said show, because you don’t want to tell the reader your mc is angry. You want to show it with a physical reaction. Physical can be as small as wiping away a tear or as big as driving a car into a house. Your call.

The other way you can get it across is by discussion. Another character is in the room and your mc has a chance to openly discuss it.

There’s no set length for this part. It can be one sentence or it can be one page. It all depends on how much you put into this reaction. No rules apply! Just do whatever you can to root the reader into the emotion.

Okay, so here’s the example from my urban fantasy. In the scene, Natalie’s goal is to relax, which is motivated by the need to forget about what’s happening with her brother, but she’s conflicted by memories of a fight. (You liked that didn’t you? How I got GMC in there? Yeah, I’m fancy like that.) The motivating disaster, the action that curbed her goal, was Jon’s name showing on her caller ID.

Here’s the reaction:

The muffled sound of “Forever” by Sevendust came from between my upturned knees, alerting me to the phone call I’d been waiting on from Travis. Only it wasn’t his name on the caller ID.
My heart seized and I had a moment of panic. I hadn’t seen Jon’s name flash on my caller ID in almost two weeks, the equivalent to a year for us. Two weeks without the sound of laughter from my brother’s familiar tenor. No, that was wrong. The laughter left long before that. I hadn’t heard it since before Mom and Dad died in the car accident.
Answer or don’t answer?
The ringtone fell silent, the lyrics “forever dead” echoing in my ears.
Despite my love for him, I needed to heed Travis’ warning to stay away from Jon, my one and only weakness in the world. Those people he hung out with . . . something was very wrong with them. Pale-skinned and cool to the touch. Beautiful to the point of painful to look at. I’d thought something was off from the start, but what Cian Tiernay did to me, what Jon dismissed without so much as a second thought despite the evidence, solidified things.
I tossed my phone to the couch where it landed past my feet. It may as well have been a beacon in the dark room. I couldn’t tear my eyes from it.

Her reaction was to toss the phone away. Simple as that. If you get your disaster into your scene right the reaction will come naturally. We’re human. We react. This is the part of the structure you shouldn’t even have to think about. All we’re talking about here is setting up a good MRU (Motivational Reaction Unit). A block of motivation followed immediately by a reaction.

On Monday we’ll get into the Quandry, or the period of thought.

Chapter Anatomy: Disaster

2011-09-14T08:24:00.001-04:00

It’s hump day, and what better topic for such a day than disaster?!

The third and final part of your scene is the culmination of your goal. I like how Jack M. Bickham puts this in Scene & Structure . . . Your goal being a question, the disaster is the answer. And not in simple yes or no terms. We’re writers. Make the shiz hurt.

Here is how your “disaster” should answer the goal: with a yes, but . . . or a no, and furthermore . . . .

If you go with the “yes, but . . .” answer, the but must include options your mc can’t accept. In the “no, and furthermore . . .” you not only sock ‘em in the nose, you uppercut the chin, maybe a few punches to the gut, knee in the groin . . . you feel me? Make it go from simply bad to worse. Much worse.

SO. On to my two examples, which happen to be the first two scenes of chapter one in my urban fantasy.

Example one: Natalie is trying to get Travis on the road without her because she’d prefer to avoid the inlaws. Travis is concerned with her brother showing up and would like her to go with him. Goal-Motivation-Conflict. Now, the “disaster”. This is where I might end up in the #EpicFail department. The point of the disaster is to stop the goal. It does, however, lean toward the “yes, but . . .” option. So let’s check it out.

I waved from the drive until he was out of sight. My heart ached now that I was alone. We’d spent plenty of time apart in the past couple years, but I’d grown used to him being around since he moved in a few weeks ago. I didn’t look forward to having the large house to myself.
Resigned to spending my weekend alone, I turned on my heel to face my childhood home—one-story, white clapboard with a basement. Mom and Dad left the house to Jon and me after they died earlier in the year. Jon said Travis and I should have it. I recalled Jon’s face when he laid out his stipulations for me. Only a week after the funeral, it was the one time a smile touched his mournful eyes.
“You have to have a minimum of two kids,” he’d said. “One boy, one girl. This house needs a family and of the two of us, you’re the only viable option.”
“That’s not true.”
Jon cocked me a lopsided grin. “Come on, Nat. We both know I’m not cut out to be a dad. World dominance, maybe . . .”
I’d laughed for the first time in weeks. “Watch out Lex Luther.”
“Now we’re on the same page.”
The house was too much for just Travis and me, but I loved every square inch of it. Jon did too, so when he handed over his half without blinking a single eye, I was that much more grateful to him.
If things went as planned, one of the two extra bedrooms would have a new addition within the next year. This image brought a smile to my face. A baby would bring so much life to this house. A son with Travis’ dark hair and fuller mouth because mine was too thin, but he could have my smaller nose and high cheekbones.
I shut my eyes against the setting sun and let the heat warm my face for a long moment. I stood there for so long, the idea of crossing the line of shadow formed by the house made me weary. Goose bumps rose on my skin at the idea of the air-conditioned, shadowed foyer.
I faced the road once more. I could go. I could be behind Travis in less than an hour and wouldn’t face an entire weekend without him. But I was being silly. What could possibly happen in two days?
Decision made, I crossed the threshold into the cool shadow and closed the front door behind me.

This is kind of iffy for me. Technically, you could say I skipped over the disaster, jumped right into sequel, skipped over reaction and there you have the dilemma and decision. If you have no clue what sequel’s are, you didn’t understand any of that, but I’ll get to it in future posts. Don’t worry. Anyway, I actually lean toward this being the end of the scene. The culmination of the goal. And as you’ll learn, sequels don’t have to follow scenes. SO, my final judgment, iffy though it is, is that I have a “yes, but . . .” here. I’ve foreshadowed events that will make Natalie sorry she stayed.

Example two. Natalie just wants to simply relax and forget about Jon and what he’s getting himself into but she can’t stop thinking about the events leading to their big fight. Goal-Motivation-Conflict. This “disaster” is a little more clear cut.

The muffled sound of “Forever” by Sevendust came from between my upturned knees, alerting me to the phone call I’d been waiting on from Travis. Only it wasn’t his name on the caller ID.
My heart seized and I had a moment of panic. I hadn’t seen Jon’s name flash on my caller ID in almost two weeks . . .

Natalie receiving a phone call from the very brother she’s been asked by her fiancé to avoid is definitely going to put a damper in her relaxation time. This is a “no, and furthermore . . .” situation. Not only will she never reach her longed for point of bliss and relaxation, but it’s interrupted by a phone call, and not just any call, but one from her brother.

So there you have it. That’s disaster. Once your goal is stated, make sure you follow up with a disaster that’s sure to put a stop to that goal one way or another. And don’t let the word disaster fool you! It doesn’t mean gloom and doom. This can be a funny culmination to the goal. I read a post in which the example gave the woman’s goal—to buy her husband a Christmas gift—and she sold her hair for the money and bought him a fancy chain for his watch. When she got home and they exchanged gifts, he’d sold the watch to buy her a set of hair combs for the hair she no longer had. This left them both with completely pointless gifts, and it made me laugh. But you see my point? This is not gloom and doom. It’s just an #EpicFail of the goal.

I’m a pantser, so I don’t plan these things ahead of time, but the best part about this scene/sequel business is that I can go back and fix. I could go back to my first scene, give it a clear disaster and follow up reaction, and turn that last bit into a sequel. Easy peasy. So if you come across these areas like I am, don’t get discouraged. You can fix them.

Until Friday when I get into Sequel!

Chapter Anatomy: Conflict

2011-09-12T09:29:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday and for the two of you following along, Welcome Back! Today I’m moving on to the next part in your chapter breakdown: Conflict.

Conflict is the second part of the scene/sequel structure. This part is easy peasy lemon squeezy. Your goal in this part is to set up a series (or just one nice big one) of obstacles to prevent your mc from obtaining his/her goal.

You want your character to get through them because they need to reach “Disaster” which I’ll talk about Wednesday. Think of yourself as a sadistic sonofabitch and your character is a masochist. They want conflict. Without conflict, the reader will be B.O.R.E.D.

Hey, is that my friend calling with a fantabulous new read?

So, back to my examples! Yay! In my urban fantasy, I have three scene/sequel setups in chapter 1. I’ve been using the first two in this series of posts.

In example 1, Natalie’s goal is to get Travis on the road to PA without her. Her motivation is to avoid spending time with the inlaws. This all sounds simple enough. What on earth could I do to make this harder for her?

I glanced at my watch and saw the depth of interstate traffic thickening with each tick of the second hand. “Oh. You need to go.”
The corners of his mouth turned down slightly. “Natalie—”
I cut him off with a finger over his lips. “I know what you’re going to say, and I already told you, I’ll be fine. I haven’t talked to Jon since . . .”
. . . since the night I let Jon drag me to that club, I didn’t say. Couldn’t say.
A cold shiver shook me from the core out, followed instantly by an invisible fist tightening over my heart. Jon and I never fought like we did the day after. Never like that. I didn’t know what he was caught up in, but whatever it was felt horribly wrong.
“Natalie.” Travis brushed his fingertips over my cheekbone. “I know he’s your brother, but I don’t trust him. He’s running around with some crazy cult, getting trashed every night, and probably doing drugs. He almost pulled you down with him once. He’ll try again, and when better than while I’m gone?”
“Do you hear yourself?” I dropped my hands from his chest. “He’s not just my brother. He’s my twin. My best friend. We’re all each other have left.”

So the conflict in that scene is the brother, Jon. Travis is worried about leaving Natalie alone, which she now has to talk him down from. That’s a conflict. Small, yes, but conflict nonetheless. Remember what I said about making these scenes relatable. Some of us might actually reconsider going if our loved one is that worried.

Okay, example 2. Natalie’s goal/motivation is to relax and forget about Jon and all the drama that goes along with it. Here’s the conflict:

Snuggled into a corner of the sectional with a glass of Mom’s favorite cabernet, very recent flashes of memory caught me up and I lifted my hand to the side of my neck. A small cut. Blood on his tongue.
“It’s nothing to worry about,” Jon had said. “So he licked blood off your neck, what’s the big deal?”
His response left me gaping and speechless.
“I’ll tell you what a big deal is,” he continued. “Dancing with that guy, Kyle. Did you tell your fiancé about that or did you strategically leave out the part where you cheated on him?”
“It was just a dance, but since you brought it up, why don’t you tell me why Kyle—”
“So you didn’t.”
I ran a palm over my neck and forced the memory away. There was no reason for me to feel guilty, but somehow Jon managed to do that by bringing up my dance with Kyle Abbot. He’d only done it to divert attention away from him and it worked. I’d left shortly after that and we haven’t spoken since.

In this example, the roadblock to mental bliss is the constant emergence of memories.

Of the three (Goal, Motivation, and Conflict), conflict is probably the easiest to achieve. At least it is for me. And conflict can come from anything. What sort of setting are you working with? Can it be used to keep your mc from reaching his/her goal? Later in my manuscript, I use the setting—a worn torn town—to keep Natalie from reaching her destination. But remember, you can’t let the conflict actually stop your mc. I had to let Natalie get through the ripped up streets and torn down buildings. I let her get soooooo close, then DISASTER! Anyway, just keep that in mind when creating your scene/sequel sets. Take a good look at your setting. How alive is it and how can it help you screw with your mc?

So that’s it for today! Go in search of your conflicts! Are they there? Are they awesome? You’re awesome. No, you’re awesome. No, you’re awesome.

See you Wednesday with DISASTER!

Chapter Anatomy: Motivation

2011-09-09T09:00:00.000-04:00

WooHoo! Part 3 of Chapter Anatomy! Find parts 1 & 2 below:

Scene Setting

Goal

Alrighty, moving right along! Motivation. Behind every goal is a motivation.

Wikipedia describes motivation as the following:

Motivation is the driving force by which humans achieve their goals. Motivation is said to be intrinsic or extrinsic.^[1] The term is generally used for humans but it can also be used to describe the causes for animal behavior as well. This article refers to human motivation. According to various theories, motivation may be rooted in a basic need to minimize physical pain and maximize pleasure, or it may include specific needs such as eating and resting, or a desired object, goal, state of being, ideal, or it may be attributed to less-apparent reasons such as altruism, selfishness, morality, or avoiding mortality. Conceptually, motivation should not be confused with eithervolition or optimism.^[2] Motivation is related to, but distinct from, emotion.

Whatever your character’s motivation, it has to be relatable to all of us. This is important. If I can’t relate to it, Imagonna put a book down. For real. It’s happened.

**Now, remember, we aren’t talking about overall ms GMC’s. I’m specifically breaking down chapters. So here we go.

In the last post on goals, I gave the first two scenes in chapter 1 of my ms as examples. (Remember there can be more than one scene per chapter.) Now I’ll show you the motivations. Like the goal, the motivation needs to be clearly stated. Note how I said clearly, not literally.

Example one goal: Natalie wants to get Travis on the road to PA without her.

Her motivation?

I jutted a chin toward the trunk of his car. “I saw the golf clubs, my friend, and I know you intend to use them.”
Travis turned his head up to laugh, the vibrations transferring to the palms of my hands. When he looked down a moment later, his midnight blue eyes shone with amusement. His hands rubbed absently up and down my arms, his callused palms chafing my softer skin.
“If you came, I wouldn’t need to use them,” he said, speaking up when a mower started up across the street. The scent of fresh cut grass carried over on the breeze a moment later.
The cross hanging over his shirt flipped when his collar moved and I righted it. “If I go, your dad would drag you out to play anyway and I’d get stuck with your mom who is still trying to talk me into yellow bridesmaid’s dresses. My cousins will look like zombies in that color. Yellow is not our friend.” To prove my point, I lifted the yellow edge of his polo shirt to my pale skin and cringed.

Anyone see it? Remember that these are just scene GMC’s. They don’t have to be HUGE. Her motivation is simple: Avoiding the “talk” with the future mother-in-law. Note how it’s also relatable! Maybe you aren’t married with the MIL from hell, but there’s someone in your life you’d lie, cheat, and steal to get out of spending even a second with.

Example two goal: To simply relax and find calm.

Night descended behind the large picture window at the back of the dark living room. Through it, I watched moonlight shimmer over gentle ripples in the windswept pool. Each peak and dip should have added to the calm I strived for. The peace of mind. Any other night it would have, but with Jon fresh on my mind, I remembered a time when those very waters nearly took his life fifteen years ago. A dive too near the shallow end. Blood mingling with the clear water. Jon had drowned by the time my screams brought Dad running.

The motivation probably won’t be as clear because you haven’t read UP to this scene, but her motivation is to forget about everything going on with her brother, Jon. To quote the wiki definition, “. . . or it may include specific needs such as eating and resting, or a desired object, goal, state of being. . .”

Again, it’s a motivation everyone can relate to. If something is bothering you, who doesn’t strive to forget about it?

Okay, so that’s motivation!

To recap, every scene in every chapter should have a goal and a motivation for that goal. Make sure they are clear for the reader. Every chapter has at least one scene.

Your next mission, should you choose to accept . . . . . . go find your motivations! YAY, fun!

Okay, hop to it! See you Monday when we go over the next step: Conflict.

Chapter Anatomy: The Goal

2011-09-07T09:01:00.000-04:00

Day 2 of my Chapter breakdown! Day 1, Scene Setting, can be found HERE.

Wikipedia defines the Goal as:

A goal or objective is a desired result a person or a system envisions, plans and commits to achieve—a personal or organizational desired end-point in some sort of assumed development. Many people endeavor to reach goals within a finite time by setting deadlines.
It is roughly similar to purpose or aim, the anticipated result which guides reaction, or an end, which is an object, either a physical object or an abstract object, that has intrinsic value.

As writers, our goal is to what? Finish the novel.

Our main characters have one big goal throughout the overall ARC, too. Defeat the Big Bad. Wash hair. Get that man to shave his chest. You get the idea.

Even the chicken has a goal. To get to the other side.

But we’re not talking about the big picture. Everybody wants to talk about the big picture! Let’s go smaller. Get down in the trenches. Dig deep.

Every chapter consists of one or more scenes. How much thought have you put into making sure each one of those scenes contains a GOAL? We’ve all read that book—you know the one—where you read that chapter and you’re practically screaming at the author, What’s the point!!! If you really think about it, study that chapter, you may find that it lacks structure. With no goal, there’s no motivation. If the mc isn’t motivated to go anywhere, they’re not coming across any conflict. See what I did there? GMC, and I’m not talking about the truck.

Goals in each scene don’t have to be big. They can be any size you want them to be as long as you have a motive for that goal and plan to stop your mc from achieving it. That’s YOUR goal.

The goal must be stated in some way. No, you don’t have to have your character say it outright. Just make sure it’s clear. For example, in the first two lines of dialogue in my urban fantasy, Natalie’s goal is inserted in a roundabout way, but it’s there. Take a look.

“Come with me, Natalie,” Travis whispered over my lips.
A chuckle welled from deep in my chest. “Spending a weekend with your parents at some fancy-shmancy barbeque slash retirement party isn’t my idea of an awesome time.”

The goal in this scene is to NOT go to the barbeque with Travis. As the dialogue continues, it’s to get him on the road without letting him talk her into it.

The next goal takes place in the same chapter. Chapter 1, scene 2.

Night descended behind the large picture window at the back of the dark living room. Through it, I watched moonlight shimmer over gentle ripples in the windswept pool. Each peak and dip should have added to the calm I strived for. The peace of mind. Any other night it would have . . . .

Goal: To relax and forget about her troubles.

So you see? They don’t have to be huge, but they have to be there. One per scene, and at least one per chapter. Let me repeat that for those in the back. PER SCENE, PER CHAPTER.

So your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take out that fancy manuscript and start checking for goals. Just start with that for now. Don’t overwhelm yourself b/c there’s a lot more to cover after this.

Chapter Anatomy: Scene Setting

2011-09-05T18:16:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I brought up the topic of GMC’s and MRU’s. Put all that together and you then have scenes and sequels. I was thinking today that the topic consists of too many things to wrap a brain around. If you read it, you saw what I’m talking about. And there are so many things we already have to concern ourselves with, am I right? So let’s do this a piece at a time. I’m going to break it all down into a few posts and hopefully we’ll learn together.

So, class, let us begin.

You have a brand new shiny idea. It’s pretty. You pet it a little, give it a cutesy name. Nudge the muse and you both stare glassy-eyed at this new wonder you’ve created together.

Where to start? Scene setting.

This is super super importante. If you can’t ground the reader, they won’t follow and will stop reading the moment someone says, “I just finished the best book!” I do it all the time. I’ve run out of bookmarks and moved on to using mail to mark places. You think I’m kidding, don’ t you?

Setting can be as small as a room with a view. Expand on that room to a house or a hotel. A seedy inn. Expand on that into a desert. A city. A country bumkin town. Expand on that and you’re on Earth. Planet that-crazy-name-you-gave-it. Maybe it’s a realm. A kingdom. Whatever. You know what I’m saying.

This is all world building.

For now, though, let’s get keep to basics. Chapter anatomy. Each chapter starts a new scene. Some of you/us/them continue from previous chapters, so those don’t really count. Let’s say we’re on chapter 1. You need to set the scene.

Where are you? I’ll use my urban fantasy for examples. Chapter 1 starts like this:

I didn’t know at the time, but it was the last day my heart would beat. I stood in the driveway, kissing my fiancé good-bye for what would be the last time. As far as last days went, I couldn’t have asked for better. Late in May, the sun was radiant in a bright and nearly cloudless sky, a slight breeze holding the summer humidity at bay.

From that, let’s talk about what we now know.

Sight: Clear blue sky.

Touch: Breeze, concrete under feet.

What would help that? Sound and Smell. It’s May, so it’s spring, right? I could add the smell of mowed grass or flowers on the breeze. A barbeque! The sound could come from the mower, or birds chirping. Cars passing by.

Do I have that stuff in the chapter? Nope. Should I? Hellz yes. Why shouldn’t I? The following dialogue is enough to engage the reader, at least this is what they tell me, but there’s nothing grounding them further. The more details you can add, the more engaging the scene will be. Get all four senses in there.

But here’s my suggestion. Don’t add it all into one lump paragraph. Let’s say I go back and add the other two senses I missed. That’s already a fairly decent sized paragraph, and for a day and age with a short attention span, I’ve already lost 50% of my blog post readers cuz I like to talk. A lot. And if I overwhelm the reader right off the bat, they might grow sleepy and bored, and then that friend calls with the new awesome book.

So what’s the solution?

Why not add it into your dialogue tags?! Here’s the following dialogue to my first paragraph. Now, I’m going to just slide it in somewhere. Let’s see how it turns out.

“Come with me, Natalie,” Travis whispered over my lips.
A chuckle welled from deep in my chest. “Spending a weekend with your parents at some fancy-shmancy barbeque slash retirement party isn’t my idea of an awesome time.”
“Even if you’re with the man you love?”
I jutted a chin toward the trunk of his car. “I saw the golf clubs, my friend, and I know you intend to use them.”
Travis turned his head up to laugh, the vibrations transferring to the palms of my hands. When he looked down a moment later, his midnight blue eyes shone with amusement. His hands rubbed absently up and down my arms, his callused palms chafing my softer skin.
“If you came, I wouldn’t need to use them,” he said, raising his voice now since Mr. Tucker had started his mower across the street. We were almost immediately doused in the smell of fresh cut grass on the gentle breeze.

It’s not perfect, but you get the idea.

I always fall back on what I see and touch. Remembering to add what I smell and hear can be hard. That’s why we have awesome cp’s to fall back on. Hopefully, you have a good one who notices that right away and reminds you.

So you see why setting is important now? And this can’t be just an occasional thing. Start a checklist or whatever tool of choice and write/type all the senses. Check them off for every scene. Go to a new place, start over with all the senses. Ground your reader scene after scene after scene. Add details beyond the big picture, too. Here’s a scene further into my book that, once I added in the tinier details, I find it’s one of my favorite scenes.

I slid into the booth across from Kyle whose arms stretched over the back of his seat. A smile crossed his face with ease and I noted he’d glamoured the familiar blue eye color. I wished he’d glamour the color more often than just in public. Even after all these months, the red eyes on any vampire disturbed me.
I glanced around the near empty diner. The light blue vinyl booths needed recovering and the wooden stools at the long service bar looked dangerous for anyone over fifty pounds. The napkin holders had rusted within an inch of their life.
I quirked a smile at Kyle. “This place has the great coffee? Or is this your way of luring me into dining on the waitstaff?”
He laughed, slowing to only a smile when the stumpy-legged waitress approached. Dull brown eyes bounced between us from behind heavy lids. Her grey curls looked frazzled in the humid space and a roll of skin under her chin bounced with each chomp of the light pink gum between her teeth.
“What’ll it be?” The manly voice escaping her throat came as quite a shock, but the unaffected level of tone didn’t. Her droopy eyes fell immediately to the green order pad and she scribbled something along the top. “We have great pie,” she said as if an afterthought.
I stifled a laugh and glanced at Kyle whose smile widened.
“Coffee for me,” he said. “And pie sounds fantastic. Apple. Hot.” He raised an eyebrow at me.
I shifted under his gaze and glanced up at the waitress who might as well have been doodling for all I knew. “Same,” I said. Once she was out of earshot, I narrowed my eyes. “Pie?”
Four fingers of one hand drummed over the vinyl back of his booth. “We can’t eat it, but I intend to appreciate the aroma.”
Leaning back in my booth, I sighed. I couldn’t get rid of the smile on my face for anything. My cheeks actually ached. “I used to love pie. Mom made the best pecan pie for Thanksgiving. Pumpkin, too.”
Kyle shifted forward and leaned into the table, resting his chin in one hand. “You never talk about your family.”
I shrugged a single shoulder and stared down at the silver splash of designs in the Formica table. Multiple yellowed rings stained the top. “Not much to tell.”

The key is to add the things we notice every day, but forget the moment we leave. While you’re out, wherever you are, make note of things you smell, feel, hear, and see. Taste! If you’re characters actually eat real food, they must taste things, right?

Okay class! That’s all for today. If you have anything to add, something I missed in setting scene, please share!

Scenes and Sequels

2011-09-04T12:08:00.001-04:00

One day I set out to write a story for fun. Just because.

My first novel was, oh, 50K or so. Me, being a newbie, thinks, hey, I’ve got something here and it’s AWESOME.

I didn’t query it. I didn’t know what a query was. I actually looked into self-pubbing and found out that my “novel” wasn’t in fact a “novel” yet.

Long story short, I ended up with a hack agent for about 6 months, realized I should probably do a bit more research, and ended up throwing in the towel for about a year. Too much work for something I loved so much.

Then, like many of you, Stephanie Meyer miraculously sold her first manuscript and I decided I gotta get in on this action. Rewrote that crazy little idea I had, thought it was AWESOME, and did some query research.

Two years later, several attempts to query crappy projects, and seven full manuscripts later, I’m still finding out I don’t know a goddamned thing. Am I better at this? Hellz yes. Much. Do I still have a lot to learn? Feckin right on, I do.

Which leads me to my most recent discovery courtesy of my awesome awesome friend, Charissa Weaks. She does the research for me and fills me in as we go along That’s just how we roll.

No, not really. I do my share. I practically live in Savvy Authors workshops. Ask anyone.

Last year someone asked me for the GMC’s of one of my novels, and I was like, WHAT?! What the hell is a GMC? So I Google it and guess what I get . . . shocker this is . . . trucks. LOL. I had not a fecking clue and even though I lived in all of your blogs, I hadn’t seen a single thing about this. A little more digging later, I learn about Goal’s, Motivations, and Conflicts. Had one of those moments where I reacted negatively, said dumb things like, Well, those don’t really matter, and moved on. Found out they did matter and cursed the heavens.

Last week in a workshop, I learn about MRU’s. Motivational Reaction Units. Turns out this is a little addition to GMC’s I never knew about. MRU’s can start as small as making sure your ONE sentence doesn’t start with the reaction and end in the motivation for that reaction. For example: I laughed my petunia off when Joe Blow turned, missed the exit, and face planted into the wall. See how the reaction is shown before the motivation for the reaction? Yeah. We all do this. (Look for the word “as” and “when” and you might find one of these sentences!)

Yesterday, Charissa hits me with this fun bit. Sequels. She even uses one of my chapters to explain how my overall MRU in the chapter is ass-backwards. I was still on MRU in sentence structure, mind you, so this came as quite the surprise. (MRU workshop isn’t over yet. . . . This HAS to be next in the lessons. Looks like I’ll be ahead of the game.)

I really can’t go into all the logistics behind Scenes vs Sequels and underlying GMC’s and MRU’s. Hell, I’m still trying to understand it. But Charissa did the research for you! On her new blog, The Writer’s Resource, she’s laid it all out, and even added some additional links to other helpful posts.

I’ll tell you, now that I’m looking at each chapter and searching for each detail to be sure the scenes lay out in the scene/sequel format, I’m seeing my weak areas. I just finished line edits on my ms, so next stop will be to solve those weak holes. (Definitely have some work to do on world-building. That’s a whole other job in and of itself. *sigh*) THEN I might have a solid manuscript for the first time EVER.

If you’re a plotter, you’re going to love this. It’s fine tuning at it’s best. If you’re like me and like to pants your way through everything, no worries. Write your petunia off. When you’re done, fill in the blanks of whatever tool you choose to use for this exercise. Here’s mine:

Note: IF you check out the website, motivation isn’t on the example, but this is important! Make sure you have motivations. Mucho importante.

If you want my 20 page Word Doc that’s set up w/ the above (I set it up for 40 chapters), comment me with your email and I’ll send it. I don’t mind sharing

Okay, go check out The Writer’s Resourse (daily!) and learn about this sequel business. It’ll blow your mind. Seriously.

Forcing Personality: A Story of Character

2011-08-31T11:39:00.000-04:00

I've been personally focused on creating believable characters lately. Some come naturally. I see them and they see me. We have conversations until well into the night. I see their clothes, their mannerisms. I hear their voice. They tell me what to say. And the comment bubbles come back from cp's with things like: LOL, or better, LMAO!, or better, That was HOT, or LOVE, or BEST LINE EVER. I tap my muse on the head and give her a Well done, you.

Some characters I have to beat into submission, and those are the ones least liked by my writing peers. They don't get the fancy comment bubbles, and if they do, it's never good. At that point I glare at Muse and maybe flip her the bird. Choke her a little. Scream obsenities. Why? Because the character HAS to exist but doesn't. And it's her fault. (Hell if I'll take the blame. . . . Just sayin.)

What's worse than a 2D character? A 2D character with DIALOGUE.

*runs around the room screaming, bouncing off walls, knocking over furniture*

I love writing dialogue, and when I'm writing dialogue for a 3D character, I don't even have to think about it. It's the 2Der's that are a pain in my petunia. Forcing a conversation for a character that is merely a shadow shouldn't be touched with a 10 foot pole. Just don't do it. Wait. Breathe. Think on it. Put in a mini synopsis in place of said dialogue and go back to it.

I'm straying from my original thought, so let me get back to it. Dialogue is a whole other blog post.

Characters.

I'm having a convo with my girl Tracy yesterday about leading men and we end up talking about Jericho Barrons from the Fever Series. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you already know I'm an addict, but it's not just the stories themselves that I love. It's the characters. I couldn't recreate KMM's characters to save my life, that's how good they are.

So. Barrons. Barrons is the guy you DON'T want. He's a total prick. He's mean, and kills without a second thought. But I get all heated whenever I think of this guy. What's so great about him? He'll tell you himself: Judge me by my actions, Ms. Lane.

Think about that for a second. Judge him by his ACTIONS. Karen Marie Moning didn't force me to fall in serious heat for this guy. MacKayla Lane hated him. I wanted to hate his ass, too, by God. Then he'd do something stupid like call her Mac when she was dying and I melted. There are probably a thousand examples of these little things that, by themselves, mean absolutely nothing. Put them together, spread them out, and you have the makings of a character that makes women hot for JZB across the globe.

So let's say KMM sent Mac into BB&B that day she got lost in the Dark Zone and the moment she met Barrons, Mac was all hot and bothered by the enigmatic man. Went on for pages about him. Slept with him the first chance she got. What kind of character do we have there? The kind that makes me want to slap the shit out of Mac and kick JZB in the teeth. He'd be a prick on more levels than one. Where's the intrigue? Where's the guy who hides the fact that he really and truly wants to go against everything he is to be with the Rainbow Girl who happened by his bookstore. But he doesn't. He can't. He fights it tooth and nail, and every single time he cracks, though it's the tiniest crack EVER, you stop breathing.

My point? You have a 3D character with ridiculous potential. Don't shove him/her down my throat. Don't force their personality and dialogue. Show me who they are and how meeting your mc changes them over time. They don't even have to like each other. Sometimes that's the best part, because as they unfold , that's when budding relationships grab you the most. Unfold those characters in actions, rather than words. Don't underestimate the power of a good nonverbal action. A look. A simple touch.

Okay, rant over. Go write something fabulous. Go. Get out of here.

Book Review(s): Shade & Shift

2011-08-21T19:22:00.001-04:00

Love ties them together.
Death can't tear them apart.

Best. Birthday. Ever. At least, it was supposed to be. With Logan's band playing a critical gig and Aura's plans for an intimate after-party, Aura knows it will be the most memorable night of her boyfriend's life. She never thought it would be his last.

Logan's sudden death leaves Aura devastated. He's gone.

Well, sort of.

Like everyone born after the Shift, Aura can see and hear ghosts. This mysterious ability has always been annoying, and Aura had wanted nothing more than to figure out why the Shift happened so she can undo it. But not with Logan’s violet-hued spirit still hanging around. Because dead Logan is almost as real as ever. Almost.

It doesn't help that Aura’s new friend Zachary is so understanding—and so very alive. His support means more to Aura than she cares to admit.

As Aura's relationships with the dead and the living grow ever complicated, so do her feelings for Logan and Zachary. Each holds a piece of Aura's heart…and clues to the secret of the Shift.

I’m not going to put up the synopsis for Shift, b/c I hate it when I read them before I’ve read the first book . . . so in case you’re like me, I’ll leave it out.

Okay, onward and upward. I’ll make this brief.

Read. These. Books.

I freakin’ picked these up b/c I saw 2 things: ghosts and Scottish guy. (I’m rewriting an old ghost ms, and Scottish accents are too hot to ignore. Am I right?) Then I crossed my fingers, which seems to be what I’m doing a lot lately. It’s pretty rare that I pick up a book that I think will rock my world only to find out it doesn’t.

Jeri Smith-Ready knows how to build some fecking tension, people. And I was doing the stupid smile around the house today. You know the one. The one the significant other is under the impression is reserved for only them? Yeah, no. This was all Zachary and Aura. I hope my future readers will find even an OUNCE of the tension built in these books. If it’s not the relationship tension (and by relationship, obvs I mean sexual) building, it’s something else.

So for those of you who are still pining over Edward (are there any of you still out there?) or need a filler for Jace (in my case Will & Jem—yes, both), then here he is. Zachary. Holy gods. And I have to admit, I was even in love with Logan. Why, God, why . . . didn’t I date a guy in a rock band?

BUT. Until the day I die, there is still no replacement for Jerricho Z. Barrons. That had to be said.

Okay, go. Download/purchase/whatever it is you kids are doing nowadays.

The Ultimate in Rejection

2011-08-12T11:55:00.004-04:00

I must be numb to rejection. Remember those first rejections? Back when we thought our crap versions were destined for greatness? Those stung.

Wow. We've learned so much since then, haven't we? I know I have.

I climbed up the ladder recently and got a full ms request from a publishing house. I thought I. Might. Die. They requested my 2010 YA Nano project that I bled over for months. Crits were coming back with awesome notes. I was SURE this was it.

Weeks went by. My heart slowed. My brain started functioning again. I even moved on to new projects. The email came telling me thanks but no thanks and I shrugged. Said, Ah well. Moving on.

*blinks*

Who is that person? I was sad, sure, but damn.

This biz chafes and forces us to grow thick skin or quit. There is no in between. It weeds out the weak minded. The weak souled. If we make it through critique partners finding it a learning experience rather than a personal attack, we move on to query rejections. If we make it through those with a strong will to keep going, we're on our way to superhero status. If we are lucky enough to have our work requested and can still breathe after that rejection, we are superhero's.

Superhero's win. Keep going. Get off the railroad tracks where the Big Bad tied you down with a bit of rope and get back out there. Wipe the dirt off your ass and go.

Why are you still here? Don't you have a world to conquer?

You love your characters, but . . .

2011-08-03T18:23:00.001-04:00

I blogged last week about this book (which I won’t name) and how the male love interest was weak. I’m not saying it has anything to do with the author being male, and after I finished the book, I’m going to say that this is for sure not the case.

What we have here is a case of weak character building.

The plot is good. Check.

The setting is good. Check.

The characters are awesome. *coughs*

Published an entire series and readers are begging their friends to pick your series up. *cough, cough*

*blinks* *looks around* *nods* Yeah. Not a single developed character. Not. One. It was sad. (I won’t talk about how the sex scene could fit into a 140 character tweet. I blinked and almost missed it. This is a topic for a whole other post.)

I read recently that when a reader picks up your book, they’re already on your mc’s side. I think we can all agree that when we pick up other books, even when the plot starts to fall through, we still want to love the mc. There are the rare few, but most of the time this is the case. Or I’m just easy . . . I’m not the reader who starts a book and waits for you to make me fall in love with the main character. I already do.

So I guess what I’m saying is that as writers we pants our way (the better of us actually plot) through stories with a clear picture of our main characters. The clearer the picture, the better. The more the reader will relate.

But what about those secondary characters? There’s always one that comes through even clearer than our main character isn’t there? At least for me. I can read the difference in a few of the critiques I do. But then there are some that take until revision #100 to finally show their personality.

What steps do you personally take to bring your characters to life? We can’t take it on faith that just because you love all of them that we will. Do you give your secondary characters GMC’s (Goal, Motivation, Conflict)? Or at the very least, GM’s?

In the past I’ve always just let them come to life. Some have definitely taken a while to show themselves. Others give me the dialogue in waves, waking me up at night to tell me what else they want to work on. They become buddy buddy with the muse and I have to then fight them both off with the keyboard.

Today I did this assignment for a workshop that asked me to place my character at a desk (I went against the grain and put mine on a couch) and describe what the room looks like. What the character is doing, wearing. The reader would then try to deduce who the character is as a person—guess his/her secrets. I thought this was an excellent way to start a character profile. I’ve been “working” w/ this character for a long time, but it was interesting for me one I started b/c I had to really think about what would be in Sydney’s living room. There was a moment in my last novel when I had to think about what would be in Sloan’s bedroom, and if you really think about the small things like this, you can really show the character’s personality.

Here’s what I did today. It’s just something to think about. It really made me stop and think about who Sydney is and I thought if I did this for all my characters, how much personality could I find? Probably a lot.

Sydney curls up in the corner of a couch, fingers tapping the overstuffed arm. To her right are three windows, blinds open to the perfect cloudless day. She gnaws on her lower lip, eyes glued to one of the windows. On the coffee table is the paperback version of Bag of Bones by Stephen King. The bookmark is set to roughly twenty pages in. A cell phone sits on top of it. In several corners of the room are large fake leafy plants. A few framed pictures are scattered about, mostly of her with friends on the beach or some other outdoor activity. A raincoat and a few ball caps hang from a coat rack near the door. Sneakers and several pairs of flip-flops were kicked off at the base of the rack. A short surfboard leans against the wall, a wetsuit on the floor beside it, as well as a used towel. Occasionally, Sydney looks to the overstuffed and empty chair on the other side of the coffee table and smiles, nods, or shakes her head. The movements are barely noticeable unless you’re watching for them. She looks with her eyes only, careful not to move her head.

Happy character building!!

Guys, I Want a Real Man (in my fake world)

2011-07-28T13:42:00.000-04:00

I'm chatting with my girl, Jodi, today and I have to bring up this book I'm reading. I'm not going to reveal the author or title for the sake of this conversation. I'll probs review at a later date.

Anyway.

I'm 100 pages deep in this urban fantasy. The authors name is an acronym, so I have no clue if it's been written by a man or a woman. I assume woman b/c it's a female lead. Last night I'm reading and the mc claims to be in love with this guy, who, mind you, she's known for maybe a total of 3 days and only spent a handful of hours with.

What?

Okay. So . . . well, I'm not a fan of the falling in love in an hour bit, nor am I a fan of the falling in love after a couple weeks. Did I write my characters falling in love in a few weeks period? Yes. But they knew each other prior to the book for a few months already. Must. Be. Plausible. OR the guy better be damn sexy. This guy in the book . . . I have no idea. (Mistake #2) Not once has this guy been described. (And I only know the mc has black hair. Come on ppl.) But how sweet is the male lead? Like a glass of sweet Georgia tea, sweet. Sweet sweet. Syrupy.

I had to find out more about this author. And it's a guy.

*sigh*

Listen. Do guys really believe I want to read about a guy like this? Marry him? Sure! In real life. Do I want to fantasize about this guy? Hellz no.

The ultimate in men from an urban fantasy, if you're curious (at least he is for me), is Jericho Barrons from Karen Marie Moning's Fever series. Would I want him in real life? Feck no. FECK no. That guy would scare the shit out of me and I'd run screaming to my momma. But hell if I don't think about this fake character w/out fanning my face. (I need a sec. Hold please. While you're waiting: Jericho f*ck scene right . . . . HERE. Only JZB can get away with that.)

So to sum up:

THIS

NOT this (But clearly, Chad Michael Murry isn't the best example, but the closest I could think of. Save this yummy yummerson for the YA's)

Synopsis Workshop

2011-07-03T11:10:00.001-04:00

I wanted to alert everyone to a new workshop via Savvy Authors. It starts in 2 days. $25 to learn how to write a synopsis?!?! I’m all over this.

Also starting in 2 days: Beginnings ~ For anyone who, like me, finds the beginnings of our greatest works to be our arch nemesis. And Nonverbal Communications for Writers if you want to delve deeper into how your character can “show” communication.

Yes, I’ve become a workshop addict, and Savvy Authors offers A LOT. Last months pitch workshop landed me a full request from Sourcebooks! So I’m a little in love with them right now. I took 3 last month and have signed up for 4 this month. These are perfect b/c you don’t necessarily have to be present for any of them and can submit the assignments if you “dare”. I am now a member, so I have access to pitch to more agents and the workshops are cheaper… And I’ve met a lot of great writers!

Okay, that’s all. Have a great holiday!!

Book Review: Divergent

2011-06-17T19:06:00.001-04:00

In Beatrice Prior's dystopian Chicago, society is divided into five factions, each dedicated to the cultivation of a particular virtue—Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, the decision is between staying with her family and being who she really is—she can't have both. So she makes a choice that surprises everyone, including herself.
During the highly competitive initiation that follows, Beatrice renames herself Tris and struggles to determine who her friends really are—and where, exactly, a romance with a sometimes fascinating, sometimes infuriating boy fits into the life she's chosen. But Tris also has a secret, one she's kept hidden from everyone because she's been warned it can mean death. And as she discovers a growing conflict that threatens to unravel her seemingly perfect society, she also learns that her secret might help her save those she loves . . . or it might destroy her.
Debut author Veronica Roth bursts onto the literary scene with the first book in the Divergent series—dystopian thrillers filled with electrifying decisions, heartbreaking betrayals, stunning consequences, and unexpected romance.

This book has me . . . speechless. And at the same time, I could ramble on for days. And just might.

As a writer, I’m sick to my stomach at the brilliance that is Veronica Roth’s talent. I’m not worthy. I had to constantly remind myself that our writing styles are different and that comparing is ridiculous.

I went into this thinking: Dystopian, Hunger Games, I’m gonna love this.

I finished thinking: That shit was so much better than Hunger Games and is there a word better then love? Cuz I need it. I had tears in my eyes when I finished this. It’s fecking brilliant.

The world building is amazing. I clearly saw each faction; from their style of dress to the way they acted. I saw the war torn streets down to the cracks in cement.

I went through a difficult, painful initiation process with Tris, and I came out of it a fighting machine. Her friends were my friends. Her enemies . . . well, let’s just say I’m not the person Tris is and I’d probably pull more triggers.

The synopsis above uses the words: electrifying, heartbreaking, stunning, and unexpected. Never before have I 100% agreed with such words in regards to a novel.

Add this to the top of your tbr pile. Seriously. Do it now. Why are you still here?

Wow. Just WOW.

2011-06-15T10:30:00.051-04:00

Showing vs telling has been my enemy these past couple years. I'm an age-old story teller. My cp's will agree.

CP: "Misty. You're telling again."
MW: "I don't get it. How is that telling?"
CP: "It just is."
MW: *blinks*

That's essentially the drift of it.

I'm currently--as some of you already know--doing line edits. It's exhausting. I'm also taking a show and tell work shop courtesy of SavvyAuthors.com. I'm in my second week and I want to smack my forehead daily. How was this not obvious before?!?!

The first piece I submitted I wrote something like, "My eyes scanned the room . . .". Telling. When watching a movie, does the camera scan the room? Or does it cut directly to what the subject focuses on? *taps temple and nods* Feck. Me. I felt like a total idiot that day.

I've since learned to stop telling what I saw, touched, tasted, smelled, etc . . . Each lesson is an eye-opening experience. My edits are turning out to be more visual. (I'll need to need to work on the first half of my ms now for all the 'tells'. *sigh* More work. Gah.)

This most recent lesson was about reactions. Your character is shocked. What does s/he experience/see? Show the scene. I first did a search through my ms for key words to find my scene: started, flinched, shocked. And came across the following:

Quinn sat cross-legged on the ground outside the bathrooms. His voice startled me when I stepped out. “So what happened?”

My feet skidded to a halt, kicking up a small cloud of dust. “I just spent an hour rehashing this with Alec, I don—”

“Let me clarify,” he said, standing. “What happened between you and Prince Christian?”

I immediately thought, "What the crap is that? That shit's terrible! Must. Fix. Immediately."

Thanks to what I've learned, the result is this:

“So what happened?”

Quinn’s voice rose softly from the shadows, but in the stillness, it may as well have been a cannon. I slid to an abrupt stop, kicking up a small cloud of dust. His back pressed into the wall, he sat cross-legged. A finger absently doodled circles in the loose dirt. Very slowly, his eyes lifted from his childish drawing to peer at me through his dark lashes.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I just spent an hour rehashing this with Alec, I don—”

Quinn leapt to his feet, the swiftness cutting me short. In two long strides, his hot breath washed over my face. “Let me clarify the question for you. What happened between you and Ian?”

*chair dances* I. Win.

And so I've become, or starting to become, a showing dynamo. I love it. I still have a couple more weeks to go, so no doubt I have tons more to learn. But holy crap on the difference, right? The change of mood is so different between the two pieces is drastic. And what's so horrible is that I meant for them to be the same. Crazy.

I highly suggest these workshops at Savvy Authors. They're cheap and well worth the time. You don't have to be immediately present throughout the day. You can pop on whenever and view lesson, post your "homework" when you're ready. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

Not only are their workshops, but you have a lot of opportunities to pitch to agents throughout the year. Great site. Go check out.

Why every child should have a Writer.

2011-06-10T16:59:00.001-04:00

My kid. Hates. Books.

There. I said it.

He’s nine, almost ten (and I totes just thought, 9 3/4 which placed me on a platform to Hogwarts. Christ. Somebody save me from my brain.). Truthfully, I don’t think he hates them. I think he hates them b/c the hubs hates them (or honestly can’t focus long enough on anything imaginary to make it very far).

Living in a house with two non-reading, fantasy haters sucks ass. Just sayin. They look at me like I have three heads whenever I talk about a book. I sit at dinner and smile whilst contemplating chapter 43 in Shadowfever and my hubs might recognize the smile, but can’t place it b/c why on Earth would I have that grin on my face outside the matrimony suite. *sigh* Barrons. (This only happened once, and you would, too, ladies. Honest to God.)

Wait. Where was I? (Jesus H, Barrons turns my brain to mush.) Oh yeah. Why my kid needs a writer. I can’t make him need books if he doesn’t understand the thrall. Maybe one day he will. I have no idea. He likes the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books like nobody’s business, but hell if I can get him to touch anything else. (I think it’s the boogies or something. Boys.)

When I decided a few years back to brave this road of writing, I wasn’t . . . smart? Bright? I didn’t have a huge vocabulary. Let’s put it that way. I’m smart enough, but being the shy person I was, I didn’t get out much. Vocabulary was pretty slim. And you know as well as I, that to be a great writer—to SHOW a story that fires on all pistons—you need a vocabulary.

The character of Sookie Stackhouse in the Southern Vampire Mysteries uses a word of the day calendar and tries to incorporate each word into her day to day conversations. I absolutely love this about her, and I was this person for a while. Without the calendar. I went more high-tech and got daily dictionary.com texts sent to my phone.

Over the past two years I’ve added so many words to my vocabulary that I have been known to cause my hubs to stall during an argument. (You . . . what? I don’t even know what the means. *laughter ensues*) I win.

My nine year old now blows me away. This is really my point. I can’t even remember what he said to me today b/c once he said it I stared at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw, wondering when he started to sound so damn intelligent. And he didn’t even know it. I can’t wait to see what my non-reading, fantasy-hating kid turns out be.

Kid smart. Mom proud.

THIS is why every kid should have a Writer.

Just my thoughts.

O_O and also, I was pretty proud of this tidbit I did for my Show and Tell workshop. The “teach” gave me an “EXCELLENT!” so I must be learning!

Travel Guide Version: A full moon lights up the sky over the river that is gently moving across one side of my vision to another. Its easy flow is peaceful and calming.

First POV: Reflections of moonlight danced off the gentle ripples like a million tiny diamonds. I focused on this, praying that this easy flow, this beauty, would instill its tranquility in me somehow. I wanted nothing more than to be one of those tiny brilliant reflections of light, lazily drifting over the water. Just. Existing.

Have a fantab (feel free to add this fake word to your growing vocabulary) weekend!

~ The Incredible Inedible M.

Pitch Workshop

2011-06-04T09:57:00.001-04:00

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve got this book I’m trying to fine tune and get out by early fall, so I’m throwing myself into some workshops. I’ve seen a lot of pitch contests/discussions going on, so I thought this might interest a lot of you.

SavvyAuthors.com has a pitch workshop starting Monday for $20. In the end, you get to pitch to an editor. Following this, in the beginning of July, is a synopsis workshop, too.

I can’t be the only person having trouble in these two areas, and this sounds perfect.

Oooo, and my query for this novel is up for bashing on Unicorn Bell if you wish to sink your teeth into it. If you don’t follow this blog yet, get on it. They’re new and looking to do some great and helpful things for all of us.

Have a great weekend!

5 pages = hell

2011-05-26T08:33:00.001-04:00

A few weeks back, I spent half a month on this massive rewrite for my 2010 Nano, Oracle. My cp’s came back saying they had ZERO appreciation for my ending, so while heartbroken—I thought it was damn clever, btw—I reformatted the entire plot. I left some secondary characters alive and ended up with this new, kickass YA. I may have kept about 20% of it.

It was a grueling process, but I followed that Save the Cat beatsheet which helped me stay on course and by the time I finished it, my muse ran off with some guy saying she’d be in the Bahama’s and not to call or write for at least a month. Believe me, she meant it. I think I really worked her ass out this time. (17 days=77K words)

Anyway, I downloaded this ebook yesterday called The First Five Pages. I suspected this past week that my new beginning was b-o-r-i-n-g and don’t really trust that it’s enough to send to an agent.

Unfortunately, I haven’t come across anything of any use in this book yet and I’m about half-way thru. So I’m back to square one, I guess. The bits about watching adjectives/adverbs was interesting, but I’m not really good at spotting those if I’m being honest. I should probably really read with a single minded purpose of hunting those out, right? *head desk*

This is like having another job.

One I’ll never quit.

*sigh*

So last night I caved and wrote a prologue. I know. I swear to you, it was never my intention to do this. Then I figured out what my real problem was in the other four pages: my MC, Sloan, is practically absent. Fixed that. Now in those four pages you see her personality shine and get to witness the snarkyness of her bff, Ari, all at once.

Writing that prologue, for better or worse, somehow led me into the first scene of chapter 1. Who knows. Maybe in a few weeks I’ll take another gander and decide it’s still crap-on-a-stick, but until then, I’m kinda satisfied.

And since you decided to stop by today (thanks for that), I’m going to share my prologue with you! It’s short. No worries, mate. Oh, and seeking cp’s if you’re at all interested. . . . Maybe? Let me know.

Happy Thursday!

The eyes returning my pleading gaze were angry and called for blood. Mine. And I can’t make them understand. Even if my voice rose above the din, they wouldn’t listen to me. I’ve been outplayed. Outwitted by an old man with a thirst for power.
I scanned the crowd with blurred vision, searching for just one familiar face, but I can’t see one. They’re all at my back and waiting for my death which happens to be the stepping-stone to their own.
A bell tolls the hour, sending shockwaves through my already frazzled nerves. This is it.
The last twelve seconds of my life.

Book Review: Where She Went

2011-05-22T13:44:00.001-04:00

It's been three years since the devastating accident . . . three years since Mia walked out of Adam's life forever.
Now living on opposite coasts, Mia is Juilliard's rising star and Adam is LA tabloid fodder, thanks to his new rock star status and celebrity girlfriend. When Adam gets stuck in New York by himself, chance brings the couple together again, for one last night. As they explore the city that has become Mia's home, Adam and Mia revisit the past and open their hearts to the future–and each other.
Told from Adam's point of view in the spare, lyrical prose that defined If I Stay,Where She Went explores the devastation of grief, the promise of new hope, and the flame of rekindled romance.

God. Gayle Foreman is my hero.

I sucked this baby down in about a half a day. It’s not long, but even if it was, I never would have put it down. My kids would have gone hungry.

This. Was. Magnificent.

I can’t say enough about this book. I’m not sure if I can even find the words. I love so many things about BOTH books that I find myself longing for that heart wrenching story within myself to tell. But the kicker is, I would never be able to tell it so well. (We’ll just forget for a moment that I write fantasy, too.)

I love that this is written in present and past tense. There’s never a doubt about where you’re at. Are you with Adam (or in the case of If I Stay, Mia) or are you back in the past, remembering those defining moments?

I think the best part about these books is that, by God, you’re at the table with the Hall’s. You know them. You LOVE them. You are fucking grieving for them. And you want to help Adam hold on to Mia as she slips through his fingers. You want to tell him to stop blaming himself for the promise he made.

I felt Adam’s heartache, his anger, his detachment, his love. I was in his vortex.

And I loved every second of it no matter how much it tore at my heart.

Read this book.

Book Review: Dante Valentine Series

2011-05-19T09:11:00.001-04:00

Necromancer. Bounty hunter. Killer.
Dante Valentine has been all three in her life. But in the beginning, she was a Necromancer for hire. And while she was choosy about her jobs, there were just some she couldn't turn down. Like when the Devil showed up at the door and offered her a deal. Her life - in exchange for the capture and elimination of a renegade demon. But how do you kill something that can't die?
Dante Valentine, one of urban fantasy's hottest series, is compiled into one volume for the first time. Included in this omnibus edition are: Working for the Devil, Dead Man Rising, The Devil's Right Hand, Saint City Sinners, and To Hell and Back.

First of all, this was Quite. A. Ride. And it made me feel all dark and twisty inside, which doesn’t happen all that often. I have A LOT of things to say about this series, so I hope I can keep them all straight. I’ll start with the writing, then hopefully end up with the story itself. K? K.

So, there I am, trudging along through the first book. I’m enjoying it. We have Dante who’s a kickass chick with a sword and Japhrimel the demon. Enter the hot ex boyfriend, Jace, who’s a shaman and I get a little excited cuz there’s serious potential for drama. Things are set up perfectly . . . then they fell flat. GAH! I was so disappointed in this. Once I hit this point—which is 3/4 thru—the dialogue got sketchy and weird and didn’t make sense sometimes. On top of that, the first smexy scene hits the pages and it’s a paragraph that I had to reread to be sure it actually happened. Disappointment #2. #3 was that I think when the boys professed their love/feelings/affection to Dante, Saintcrow kind of made them sound “girly”.

My disappointments ended in book 1.

Now, while the dialogue still had some moments in the following 4 books, it got a hell of a lot better. Saintcrow is an info repeater, too, so if that sort of thing bothers you, you won’t want to read this. By book 4, I was skipping sentences. BUT, while I typically find info repeating and constant reminders (like when Meyer tells you Edward is cold 500 billion times) annoying as hell, the little reminders were pertaining to Dante herself and it had this effect that was kind of surprising. It actually pulled me into being Dante. I would put this book down and have to remind myself that I don’t live 600 years in the future, and I’m not a Necromancer, and I don’t have this dark past. . . . The list goes on.

The world building is FAB. Saintcrow took us into an urban future after wars have struck and the “psis” have been outed and actually live side-by-side with us norms. Not a single place in the entire WORLD has the same name, but she uses a variation for each to tell you exactly where it lies on the planet. Craziest thing I ever saw. As for the “psis” we have Magis, Ceremonials, Shamans, Necromancers, Skinlins, Sedayeens. . . . On top of that, another part of the fantasy world “outed” are the Paranormals. Vamires—Nichtvre. Werewolves—werecain. And there are, obviously, demons as well. But not a single angel. All the gods come from various mythologies, each psi having their own whether they chose or were chosen. Dante’s is Anubis, for example.

Let’s move on shall we?

Dante. Well, she’s fucked up. That’s really the only way to describe her. She had one of those childhoods that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy and it shows in her lack of trust. And if she does trust you, she doesn’t give you a whole lot of rope. Don’t screw up, that’s for sure. It’s a wonder she didn’t commit suicide, actually. She’s a fecking strong-ass character.

Japhrimel. He’s a demon who’s centuries old and it’s obvious. Saintcrow didn’t fudge around with this guy. He acts like he’s that old, meaning, things that we may find important and big enough to share, he finds trivial and not worth talking about. He sees things a whole lot different than Dante which really screws with the trust issues.

Danny and Japh are really like oil and water. While I saw that they loved each other, they were constantly battling each other. Sometimes I wouldn’t even see it coming, then wondered if it was a bit melodramatic. . . . That said, it’s not like it wasn’t in their character to react they way they did to each other. I wouldn’t necessarily react to Japh the way Dante did most of the time, but I didn’t live through the sort of things she lived through, either. As crazy as I thought it was, it really was true to character. Did I want to smack the shit out of BOTH of them? YES. Like, all the time. But you can’t tell a centuries old demon what’s important, nor can you tell a thirty-something human woman what isn’t. Oil and water.

More than the relationship between Danny and Japh, the storyline was crazy good. It was darkdarkdark at times. A roller coaster ride. The 2nd book had me in tears and so twisted up after it ended that I couldn’t continue on to the 3rd for a while. It was so fecking dark and hard to read. Danny really deals with the childhood abuses in this one—physical and psychological. It was hard to read. 3-5 weren’t as heavy, thank God, but still very very good. Book 4 had me kind of an emotional mess, actually. It was so fecking sad. And angry. SO angry. But then you really don’t see angry until the last book. Holy crap. Now that was angry.

I would suggest this book to anyone who’s doing a massive world rebuild. Saintcrow remakes the world down to the hinges on doors. Seriously. If you are writing anything with a centuries old character in love with a human woman, get your clues here. Just take into account the reactions being a part of who Dante is. Who Japh is. Don’t expect any hot smexy scenes, which I have to admit, was highly disappointing and would have been totally hot. I admit it. I love a good sex scene.

Okay. I think that’s it! I think you can download the entire series for like 10 bucks? It’s worth 10 bucks.

Book Review . . . or a couple

2011-05-13T21:17:00.090-04:00

In the last couple weeks, I read FOUR books. That's right. FOUR. Whew! First on my list of reviews was going to be the first book in the Dante Valentine series, but I've decided to hold off until after I finish the 5th book and just review the entire series as a whole.

I picked this up cuz it has a badass chick with a sword on the cover and forced myself not to take all the crazy eyed glances personally as I walked through the B&N with it tucked under my arm. (This book is over 1K words long, and quite FAT. But it IS all 5 books in one, so . . .) I took a cue from my girl Tracy and bought based on cover, and thus far, I'm not disappointed, so stay tuned. . . .

After I finished the 2nd book in the Dante series, I had to take a breather cuz it's a pretty heavily emotionally charged climate in those books. So I dove back into some YA. First up was:

"In the beginning they were a group of nine. Nine aliens who left their home planet of Lorien when it fell under attack by the evil Mogadorian. Nine aliens who scattered on Earth. Nine aliens who look like ordinary teenagers living ordinary lives, but who have extraordinary, paranormal skills. Nine aliens who might be sitting next to you now.
The Nine had to separate and go into hiding. The Mogadorian caught Number One in Malaysia, Number Two in England, and Number Three in Kenya. All of them were killed. John Smith, of Paradise, Ohio, is Number Four. He knows that he is next.
I AM NUMBER FOUR is the thrilling launch of a series about an exceptional group of teens as they struggle to outrun their past, discover their future—and live a normal life on Earth.
I AM NUMBER FOUR. I AM NEXT."

I'm not even going to pretend to understand all the crazy talk behind this book. I just want to talk about the story itself, so here goes:

Present tense narrative. Erm . . . okay. I'm seriously glad I'm not currently writing anything at the moment. I'll say that much. The tense was obvious to me unlike others that took me a while to realize it, i.e. Hunger Games trilogy. I didn't hate it, though. I'm not a present tense hater by any means, but I would have preferred to read this in past.

I haven't seen the movie and hadn't planned on it, but after reading this, I most definitely will. I really enjoyed this once I got past the tense. The story is great. And the fact that it's another great book from a male pov seriously has me considering writing a book from a male pov. It's so refreshing.

Number Four, or "John Smith", is a very likable guy and so was his mentor, Henri. The love interest is Sarah, and she, too, is a very sweet girl who I could easily see him falling for. I even loved the stray dog, Bernie Kosar, from the very second he showed up at the school in the beginning.

I think my only issue was the lack of dialogue in places where I would have loved to see the interaction. Mostly when John and Sarah are together, the author told me what they talked about and I have to wonder how it would have played out had it been written out. (I also sighed at the loss of word count, but that's just me.)

Overall, I'd give this a 4 out of 5 and will definitely purchase the sequel this coming August.

OKAY, second and last book:

"Freak. That's what her classmates call seventeen-year-old Donna Underwood. When she was seven, a horrific fey attack killed her father and drove her mother mad. Donna's own nearly fatal injuries from the assault were fixed by magic—the iron tattoos branding her hands and arms. The child of alchemists, Donna feels cursed by the magical heritage that destroyed her parents and any chance she had for a normal life. The only thing that keeps her sane and grounded is her relationship with her best friend, Navin Sharma.When the darkest outcasts of Faerie—the vicious wood elves—abduct Navin, Donna finally has to accept her role in the centuries old war between the humans and the fey. Assisted by Xan, a gorgeous half-fey dropout with secrets of his own, Donna races to save her friend—even if it means betraying everything her parents and the alchemist community fought to the death to protect."

Alright, well, this one was okay. I don't think it was as bad as the Goodread reviews exclaim it to be AT ALL. Those are ridiculous, and I'm really glad I didn't take them to heart. I can totally think of a more clichéd YA book (Hush Hush) and this doesn't even come close to that.

I really liked the story Karen has going here. I think there were a lot of things that needed more umph, but overall, it's a great concept. My logical brain wonders how Donna and Xan fall for each other in only 3 days, but then I have to remind myself that there have been times in real life. . . . My hubs of over 10 years being one of them. *sigh* I guess it's possible. LOL. Anyway. . .

I seriously disliked the 3rd person narrative, though. This was alllllll from Donna's pov, so I think the 3rd person pov was unnecessary and kind of held me out at arm's length. It was "safe". The whole book felt kind of "safe", actually. I don't know any other way to describe it. I liked it, but I never had one of those moments where I was talking out loud or desperately trying to barrel through it to find out how a situation resolves itself. It was all kind of even keel.

That said, I still liked it. It's a YA. Not all YA can be Cassandra Clare, am I right? (I'm still fanning myself over the hot Jace/Clary makeout scenes. Holy CRAP, those were hot.) Oh, wait, did I jump off the tracks or what? LOL.

So . . . Iron Witch . . . I'm going to give this a strong 3 out of five b/c of the lack of umph and the 3rd person pov. I will read the next one and will be crossing my fingers that we lose the "safe" storyline.

So that's it! I'll see you soon with my Dante Valentine series review. Maybe I'll stop in with something writerly to say one of these days. My golf tournament is over next week, so I'll be back in the swing of things. I hope!

Have a great weekend!

Book Review: The Replacement

2011-04-25T08:27:00.001-04:00

Mackie Doyle is not one of us. Though he lives in the small town of Gentry, he comes from a world of tunnels and black murky water, a world of living dead girls ruled by a little tattooed princess. He is a Replacement, left in the crib of a human baby sixteen years ago. Now, because of fatal allergies to iron, blood, and consecrated ground, Mackie is fighting to survive in the human world.
Mackie would give anything to live among us, to practice on his bass or spend time with his crush, Tate. But when Tate's baby sister goes missing, Mackie is drawn irrevocably into the underworld of Gentry, known as Mayhem. He must face the dark creatures of the Slag Heaps and find his rightful place, in our world, or theirs.

This is a “ya contemporary fantasy” but I would definitely say this is crossover adult/ya. This isn’t your let’s-be-on-the-safe-side-and-make-up-cuss-words-for-the-ya-crowd book. I guess Brenna Yovanoff said, This is how kids talk, so this is how they’re going to talk in MY book. On top of that, it’s a dark, dark, tale. I had goosebumps at times.

So my recommendation to all of you on this Monday is to GET. THIS. BOOK. It’s another “Fey” book, although they never actually call themselves anything—giving a name gives power or weakens power or something like that. But this isn’t like any “Fey” book you’ve ever read. These creatures don’t live in Fairy or the Nevernever. They live in Gentry. Under a slag heap. And they aren’t beautiful. They’re disturbing.

I was disturbed.

Another refreshing part—if you can call the lack of fairy dust and happiness refreshing—is that this is from a male pov. Not a half and half, let’s switch it up first pov . . . all first person male.

And I loved Mackie. LOVED him. Loved his relationship with his sister, Emma.

Loved Emma, herself.

Loved his friend, Roswell.

LOVED Tate. Wow. What a strong female character and the COMPLETE opposite of Mackie.

OMFG, I loved the Morrigan. She’s the creepy kid who runs the show under the slag heap. I was totally having a Stephen King, Pet Sematary moment with this character. Creepy kids creep me the feck out! She was a little bit Gage and a little bit Claudia from Interview with a Vampire. (This probably stems from my abnormal fear of dolls that could quite possibly come to life and go Chucky on my ass, so you may not find her as creepy as I do, but whatevs. I think she’s creepy.)

Okay, so that’s it! This was a breath of fresh air, peeps. A break from the mundane. The writing was excellent, the characters were superb. No two exactly alike. Loved it. Buy, download, steal. Okay, not that last part. We’re trying to keep publishers in business, are we not?

Just read it.

Have a great Monday!

Book Review: City of Fallen Angels

2011-04-10T12:07:00.001-04:00

For those of you still working on this book, this will be the non-spoilery version, cuz I’m nice like that. Everybody else who’s posting spoils is just MESSED UP. I was afraid to look at my twitter feed or read blog posts for an entire week! Shame on you!!

City of Fallen Angels takes place two months after the events of City of Glass. In it, a mysterious someone’s killing the Shadowhunters who used to be in Valentine’s Circle and displaying their bodies around New York City in a manner designed to provoke hostility between Downworlders and Shadowhunters, leaving tensions running high in the city and disrupting Clary’s plan to lead as normal a life as she can — training to be a Shadowhunter, and pursuing her relationship with Jace. As Jace and Clary delve into the issue of the murdered Shadowhunters, they discover a mystery that has deeply personal consequences for them — consequences that may strengthen their relationship, or rip it apart forever.
Meanwhile, internecine warfare among vampires is tearing the Downworld community apart, and only Simon — the Daylighter who everyone wants on their side — can decide the outcome; too bad he wants nothing to do with Downworld politics. Love, blood, betrayal and revenge: the stakes are higher than ever in City of Fallen Angels.

I finished the first three books in this series a few years back and closed the third book SATISFIED. Not excited, not all OHMYGODTHATWASAWESOME. Okay, maybe a little. The third book was by far my favorite of the three. And I really thought that was it for this series and was good with that. I mean, what the hell else good go wrong for Clary and Jace?

Oh, my hell.

Cassandra Clare is a master at putting her characters in impossible situations. Seriously. I think I put MINE in impossible situations, but dayam.

I’m also of the mind that this is a brilliantly written third person pov. I’m definitely a first pov lover. Third always got on my nerves, but this makes me want to attempt this new book idea I have in third, that’s how good it is. (Wish me luck! LOL I’m gonna need it.)

If you haven’t read Clockwork Angel ~ Go and read this, too. She brings in characters in CoFA—spoilery free—and made it a little fun for me, as well as a little lovesick for Will. *sigh* You don’t have to read CA to read this, or vice versa for that matter. They’re tied in, but not in a way that matters.

So, I spent most of CoFA anxiety ridden and couldn’t stop talking/yelling at the book (I was kicked out of 2 rooms. True story.), and I’m pissed that it takes Clare FOREVER to put out books, but I’m way too satisfied for words. (Still not nearly as satisfied as I was after the Fever Series, because let’s face it, that was brilliance.) Oh, and I’m in love with Simon, who I previously merely tolerated in the first three books. And, though I never imagined it possible, I’m even more in love with Jace. Yu-uh-my in that dirty-sexy-alley scene. For realz. He can tear my tights any time (note to self: go buy tights).

Guilty as charged

2011-04-08T11:33:00.001-04:00

I'm sliding through Twitter and see a tweet that bites at my non-blogging guilt. It says something to the effect that I should be ON IT.

But the truth is, I'm a busy, busy girl. Between planning a charity golf tournament for 200 participants, my normal day job, raising 2 boys, and my hubs (yes, I'm raising him, to), I had to push something off, and unfortunately that had to be blogging. It was either that, or writing. You all know how much time can be consumed on blogger. It's draining no matter how awesome it is most of the time. I do flip through my rss feed on my phone, but commenting from it is annoying, so I don't do it.

So maybe after I have this tournament behind me? I don't know. I'm in the middle of a massive rewrite of my Nano YA and its making me obsessive to say the least. I thought it was ready a few weeks ago, but as my crits will tell you, this wasn't the case. I had a reactionary MC, and the ending I loved more than anything was wince-worthy.

*sigh*

I was attempting to make my mc, Sloan, the opposite of my mc in my vampire books, Natalie. Natalie being someone who isn't afraid to kick someones ass or speak her mind. She's awesome. I'm not afraid to admit it. And b/c agents see the word vampire and want to throw their computers through windows, that finished ms probably won't see the light of day.

So I'm putting a lot of my hopes and dreams into this YA high fantasy, Oracle. I'm using about 30% (that might be stretching it) and the rest is all brand new. I've taken a cue from the Iron Fey series by Julie Kagawa and given Sloan and Ian more drama/fights/heartache. I'm bringing them to high peaks and dropping their dead weight to the ground. It's awful, yet totally awesome. At this very moment, Sloan is yelling at me.

"I can't believe you just LEFT us like that. Why did I have to say such hateful things to Ian?! Ugh, Misty, you suck. I need to go apologize THIS INSTANT."

Ian, too.

"Agreed. That sucked. Can we get to the part where we make up yet?"

*shakes head*

Oh, they'll make up. Then I'ma gonna take 'em back down again.

It's sad.

On a side note: I read through Save the Cat to help me replot this book. If you haven't used this tool, you are missing out on something amazing and soooo helpful. The book is for screenwriters, but because he uses movies as examples, I think they're perfect examples to help guide you through the planning process. This is a must read for aspiring authors.

Epic Follower Blogfest/Contest

2011-04-01T00:00:00.027-04:00

Shelley Watters's Epic Follower Blogfest is happening today and tomorrow!

The winner wins a full manuscript request from the one and only, Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Literary Management!

Here's the lowdown from Shelley's blog:

As this is a contest to celebrate hitting blog follower milestones, to be fair, only followers of my blog or twitter (@Shelley_Watters) are eligible to participate (but you CAN follow me now & enter! :) )

1. Follow my blog and/or twitter (@Shelley_Watters)
2. Sign up for the blogfest using the link below.
3. Spread the word about the contest (via blog/twitter/etc).
3. On April 1st and 2nd, post your 140 character twitter pitch on your blog.
4. Go visit the other contestants and provide comments/critiques on their pitch.
5. On April 3rd, in the comments section of my contest blog, post:

Title, Genre and Word Count
Your polished 140 character twitter pitch
Where you follow me (blog/twitter). Please include your twitter handle.
Link to where you spread the word (twitter/blog etc)
Your email address where you can be contacted.

So get polishing your 140 character Twitter pitch!

And while we're waiting for Suzie to select a winner, I'll be picking out additional winners to recieve a query critique (from me - not Suzie).

Disclaimer:

Contest is only open to unagented writers with completed manuscripts.
You do not need to participate in the critique portion of the contest, but you do need to be a follower and stay within the 140 character limits (I will be checking all entries). But why not use the opportunity to hone and refine that pitch before Suzie looks at it?

So, here's my 140 character "twitter pitch". I had to break this down from nearly 300 characters!! That wasn't as easy as it sounds. Good luck to everybody!

Sloan got a new destiny for her birthday and it doesn’t include high school. An entire realm awaits her return and a king wants her dead.

Book Summary vs Book Cover ~ a tale

2011-03-30T08:10:00.001-04:00

This is a tale of . . .

Okay, for realz. So, a few weeks ago, my girl Tracy picks up the following series simply because the covers are cool:

I know this to be true because I witnessed this action myself. And I totally agreed. The covers are very cool, but I don’t buy a book based on its cover. I might pick it up and read the summary, but I won’t buy it summary unseen.

In the mean time, I’m surfing for a new book at home and read this:

17 year-old Kelley Winslow doesn’t believe in Faeries. Not unless they’re the kind that you find in a theatre, spouting Shakespeare—the kind that Kelley so desperately wishes she could be: onstage, under lights, with a pair of sparkly wings strapped to her shoulders. But as the understudy in a two-bit, hopelessly off-off-Broadway production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, wishing is probably the closest she’s going to get to becoming a Faerie Queen. At least, that’s what she thinks... In this fun, urban fantasy, Kelley's off-stage life suddenly becomes as complicated as one of Shakespeare’s plot twists when a nighttime trip to Central Park holds more than meets the mortal eye.

This is the book summary for Wonderous Strange by Lesley Livingston. It sounded good at the time and I’ve never read a book that’s more Faerie than some other fantastical being, so I’m going to venture into this and see what’s what.

I think Tracy and I started at the same time if I’m not mistaken, and she does this crazy thing where she only reads five pages a day? Ten? Whatever. It’s crazy, but she claims to enjoy savoring it, bla bla bla, it’s cool. I enjoy the quick suck down, but that’s just me. Point is, we’re pouring/trudging through these books at the same rate. Her because of this rule, me because I’m simply just not that into it.

As it turns out, both MC’s are the daughter of King Oberon/Auberon (same dude) and friends with Puck and the big bad is Queen Mab from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Neither daughter knows. This is pretty much where the similarities end, which was enough to confuse me a little when I STOPPED reading mine to read hers.

I couldn’t fecking take it anymore. Wonderous Strange is one of those books you wonder about while looking at your own. How the hell . . . ? I almost declared it my first and last attempt at Faerie for real. I might finish it someday b/c I have this twisted curiosity about how it ends, but I won’t be hitting the sequels. Not putting myself in another Hush Hush situation.

I finished Iron King in one day. That’s how much I loved it, and I just finished Iron Daughter last night. It wasn’t AS good, but still fantastic. Julie Kagawa has got this whole forbidden love/angsty thing down. I think she failed at the attempt to add a possible 3rd love interest to mix it up, but that particular character makes me fecking laugh like nobody’s business, so I don’t even care. The humor is second to the world of Faerie that she’s created, and the action is non-stop. Everywhere you turn there’s something else to deal with. Each character is awesomely unique, too, and you know how difficult it is to do that.

The point of this post? Maybe sometimes choosing cover over summary isn’t as laughable a thought as it once was.

Oh, and pick up the Iron Fey Series. You just might love it.

Here's your chance at a Full MS request!

2011-03-23T13:41:00.000-04:00

Shelley Watters is having a great blogfest on April 1st and 2nd. The prize?

A full manuscript request from the one and only, Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Literary Management!

Here's the lowdown from Shelley's blog:

Title, Genre and Word Count
Your polished 140 character twitter pitch
Where you follow me (blog/twitter). Please include your twitter handle.
Link to where you spread the word (twitter/blog etc)
Your email address where you can be contacted.

Contest is only open to unagented writers with completed manuscripts.
You do not need to participate in the critique portion of the contest, but you do need to be a follower and stay within the 140 character limits (I will be checking all entries). But why not use the opportunity to hone and refine that pitch before Suzie looks at it?

So hit up Shelley's blog and sign up! I mean . . . how hard can it be to come up with a pitch? *coughs* You got this! Go get your request!

Book Review: Vampire Empire

2011-03-06T16:39:00.001-05:00

In the year 1870, a horrible plague of vampires swept over the northern regions of the world. Millions of humans were killed outright. Millions more died of disease and famine due to the havoc that followed. Within two years, once-great cities were shrouded by the gray empire of the vampire clans. Human refugees fled south to the tropics because vampires could not tolerate the constant heat there. They brought technology and a feverish drive to reestablish their shattered societies of steam and iron amid the mosques of Alexandria, the torrid quietude of Panama, or the green temples of Malaya. It is now 2020 and a bloody reckoning is coming.

Princess Adele is heir to the Empire of Equatoria, a remnant of the old tropical British Empire. She is quick with her wit as well as with a sword or gun. She is eager for an adventure before she settles into a life of duty and political marriage to a man she does not know. But her quest turns black when she becomes the target of a merciless vampire clan. Her only protector is the Greyfriar, a mysterious hero who fights the vampires from deep within their territory. Their dangerous relationship plays out against an approaching war to the death between humankind and the vampire clans.

The Greyfriar is the first book in a trilogy of high adventure and alternate history. Combining rousing pulp action with steampunk style, the Vampire Empire series brings epic political themes to life within a story of heartbreaking romance, sacrifice, and heroism.

I have to admit that when I started this book I was rolling my eyes a little, and it had a lot to do with the huge info dump in the beginning. (I’ve done worse, so I can’t be too judgmental.) There was even a point soon after where one of the characters restated what the dump had already informed me, making the conversation forced and awkward.

Then we have blood. Vampire blood. Human blood. Right there in the first chapter. I soon forgot that which nearly had me missing out on this fantastic story.

This alternate future created by Clay and Susan Griffith is fantastic. And other than the fact that I had NO clue what those ship terms where supposed to be, I was right there in that world. I could see it and smell it.

This is written in 3rd person, and some of the pov switches threw me, I have to admit. It wasn’t as seamless when there were so many characters in the scene, but done perfectly for the most part. I wished at times they’d written it in first, but with so many pov’s to follow and things to learn, I can see why they chose this format. It really is bearable.

For all its faults, it was worth meeting Adele and Greyfriar. She’s a very strong female lead with a lot of spunk and bravery. Not to mention she’ll be a kick ass Empress one day! And Greyfriar . . . le sigh . . . I’m in love with him. When vampires capture me during wartime, I can only hope he shows up to save the day.

The action in this book is SO WELL WRITTEN. If you are struggling with sword fighting or any other such weapon, Clay and Susan have done a great job with this. And there are a lot of great scenes to learn from. It IS war, after all.

As for the vampires . . . they aren’t written by Anne Rice, so any romantic thoughts you’re having, you can just put them away right now. They’re evil and blood thirsty. And while they do follow some of the stereotypical vampire failings, they don’t in others. Basically, if you come across one of these guys in a fight, you best kiss your ass goodbye. They’re dangerous—day or night.

Book 2, The Riftwalker, looks like it has a September release date, but I can’t find out any other details (which is killing me). Click the pic above to visit their blog or follow them on Twitter @clayandsusan.

I’d give this a 5 out of 5, but the beginning and the occasional confusion during a 3rd person switch drops it to a 4 out of 5. I can’ t help but wonder if this is b/c it’s from a smaller publishing house with a smaller edit budget? Can’t really fault the authors in that case, so go pick this up!

Taking a Beat

2011-02-18T15:06:00.001-05:00

I should be focusing on repetitive words, like that, was, had, the ‘ly’s’, but I find myself focusing more on things like the BEAT of my dialogue these days.

I’ve been wanting to delve into this subject for weeks, but forget every damn time! And then I got caught up in my revisions (draft 2 million done, btw) and haven’t blogged too much of late. I’ve been scared to even LOOK at blogger for fear I won’t open my MS. My Twitter feed? Well, that’s another matter all together.

So back to beats.

I love writing dialogue, which is funny since I dreaded it in the beginning ~ you know, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. I thought I sucked at it. And just for kicks, I recently opened the crap version of my first MS and thought, Hey! My dialogue kicks ass. The plot? Not so much.

If you’re wondering what the beats are, they are like the musical notes of your dialogue. How fast or how slow the conversation/action takes place is completely up to you.

If two characters are having an argument, throwing jabs at each other, why on EARTH are you going to throw in a bunch of dialogue tags? You want the reader to feel the quick back and forth of it. Obviously, you have to throw tags in there every now and then so the reader won’t get lost. And if the dialogue is spot on, the reader will already see the actions you’re leaving out.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, and I experienced this last night in my YA MS, you want to slow the convo down. In which case, you want to add your MC’s thoughts or some other beat/action. For example, my MC is all a fluster over the fact that this guy is talking to her and she starts thinking about things like the way he rubs his chin, and the stubble growth (and this is in the beginning, so I’m also killing another stone by describing the future love interest). My point is, I wanted HIM to notice that she was all a fluster, too. And he reacts to the fact that she never responded. And I didn’t have to TELL the reader that this happened, ie, ‘When I didn’t respond, he said,’. . . . The reader felt (or will feel) the pause as well.

If you don’t worry about such things, eh, it’s whatever. Two of my favorite authors don’t give a SHIT about beats. Man, one person says something and the mc goes off on some inner dialogue tangent, and by the time I get to the response, I have to go back and read what they’re responding to again. I flippin hate that. But damn if their story’s aren’t good enough to keep me interested, so it doesn’t matter.

Just some food for thought. Carry on.

pulls head from sand OH, hey!

2011-02-13T22:05:00.001-05:00

I feel like such a blogger slacker. *holds out wrists* Slap if you must. I totally deserve it.

I’m so fecking deep in my revisions and loving EVERY SECOND OF IT. Who knew? I’ve been through The End of Days a gazillion million times and thought I’d be completely sick of it by now.

That was before @gonzo2802 (Tracy) and @jodilhenry (Jodi). Um, yes, I’ve spent a lot of time on Twitter of late.

They have been whipping me into shape. Scenes that were ho-hum are suddenly one of those that causes a reply email with a HELL YESSSSSS! and I strut around like a peacock.

All last week I spent on building this relationship between my MC, Natalie, and her love interest, Kyle. Both of whom think they’re just friends. Before now, it just kind of occurs to them during a random chapter. Like, totally out of the blue. But, NOW, I’ve developed a slower process of flirtation that becomes serious. It’s been maddening and fun all at once.

And I love it.

So because I have nothing more to talk about, here’s a short clip of a scene that took me TWO DAYS to get right. It’s only a small part of an entire chapter, so no, THIS didn’t take two days.

Kyle’s vice like grip pinched into my upper arms and he forced me into the wall. “What the fuck are you trying to do? I could kill you.”
He sounded furious, but his face told me something else. Relief flooded his eyes.
“You would never hurt me.”
“You have no idea how many different ways I could kill you.”
“I’m sorry, but I—”
“But nothing, Natalie. I could have killed you. Don’t you get that?”
“I trust you, and you would never hurt me.”
Silence answered me, but his eyes spoke legions. Surprise that I trusted him so completely. Agreement that I’d been right in doing so. Exasperation. Always exasperation.
Then something else. Something I wasn’t sure how to handle.
His hands released my arms and pushed into the wall on either side of me. My stomach warmed and twisted as his eyes fell to my mouth.
Emotions warred inside me. I fully recognized the next move here and I wanted it. God, I wanted it. But another part of me was screaming. Kyle wasn’t the guy you took home to your parents. Not this dark, handsome, and broody man that screamed danger when he stood in a room full of vampires.
He’s not in a room full of vampires right now.
He isn’t like that with me. Never with me. With me, he smiles. He laughs at my jokes. He caught me when I was falling and held me until I was standing on my own two feet again. He brought me back to life.
The moment came and I still didn’t know if I should duck under his arms and move away, or meet him half way. His eyes rested on my lips as he edged slowly toward me. I was grateful for the slow passing of time, even if it was painful to wait. It was painful to stay, too, but not nearly as much.
When his eyes lifted to mine, he paused. Something new entered his eyes.
Fear.
He took a step back. “I should go.”
I couldn’t move for fear of what I would say. I still didn’t know.
He didn’t wait, so in the end, it didn’t matter.

I see your em dash, and I raise you a semicolon

2011-02-09T09:51:00.001-05:00

There’s a fear of the semicolon. I have it. You have it, unless you’re a super duper grammer geek who knows the correct usage and can see where it belongs with your eyes closed. (Dear God, can you make me a grammer geek? Thanks so much. ~ Misty)

A few weeks back I’m on Twitter (shocker) and agent Sarah Lapolla tweets the following:

Me being the non-grammer geek that I am (You listening, God?) I nod my head and say, absofeckinglutely you can. Why the hell not? If I’m not sure, you’re damn right I use an em dash. (For the record, until a couple months ago, that was ‘the long dash looking thingy’. God, seriously. I’madummy.)

This is not the correct answer. Her responses blew up from grammer geeks around the globe.

The semicolon has a place, people. I know this hurts you to hear it, but it must be said. Stop hating on my semicolon usage.

50% of the time I use it correctly.

The following is from the fancy Wikipedia:

Em dash

The em dash (—), or m dash, m-rule, etc., often demarcates a parenthetical thought or some similar interpolation, such as the following from Nicholson Baker's The Mezzanine:

At that age I once stabbed my best friend, Fred, with a pair of pinking shears in the base of the neck, enraged because he had been given the comprehensive sixty-four-crayon Crayola box—including the gold and silver crayons—and would not let me look closely at the box to see how Crayola had stabilized the built-in crayon sharpener under the tiers of crayons.

It is also used to indicate that a sentence is unfinished because the speaker has been interrupted. For example, the em dash is used in the following way in Joseph Heller's Catch-22:

He was Cain, Ulysses, the Flying Dutchman; he was Lot in Sodom, Deirdre of the Sorrows, Sweeney in the nightingales among trees. He was the miracle ingredient Z-147. He was—
"Crazy!" Clevinger interrupted, shrieking. "That's what you are! Crazy!"
"—immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide superman."

Semicolon

Semicolons are followed by a lower case letter, unless that letter is the first letter of a proper noun. They have no spaces before them, but one space after (possibly two when using monospaced fonts). Applications of the semicolon in English include

Between closely related independent clauses not conjoined with a coordinating conjunction
- "I went to the basketball court; I was told it was closed for cleaning."
- "I told Ben he's running for the hills; I wonder if he knew I was joking."
- "Nothing is true; everything is permitted."
- "A man chooses; a slave obeys."
Between independent clauses and semi clauses linked with a transitional phrase or a conjunctive adverb
- "Everyone knows that he is guilty of committing the crime; of course, it will never be proven."^[2]
- "Bob's friend was refused admittance by the doorkeeper; as a result, he left before the presentations."
- "I like to eat fish; however, I don't like to be eaten by them."
Between items in a series or listing containing internal punctuation, especially parenthetic commas, where the semicolons function as serial commas:
- "She saw three men: Jamie, who came from New Zealand; John, the milkman's son; and George, a gaunt kind of man."
- "Several fast food restaurants can be found within the cities: London, England; Paris, France; Dublin, Ireland; and Madrid, Spain."
- "Examples of familiar sequences are: one, two, and three; a, b, and c; and first, second, and third."

On another note, final posts for the Dark and Stormy blogfest over at Brenda Drake’s place are going up today. Being that I was in revision (and still am) hell (and love) I forgot to post my awesome first line over the weekend for critiques, but I made it in time for the actual contest today. WHEW! Click the photo to see all the great lines!

Happy Birthday!

2011-02-02T11:06:00.000-05:00

Just popping in because I have to say Happy Birthday to TWO awesome blogger's today! Please, please, please go wish these two lady's a happy birthday.

Jodi ~ my friend. You make my ass laugh every FECKING day. I dig you, girl! My day wouldn't be complete without a quick google chat.

And also . . . Charissa! Without this chick, I'd be the ultimate "teller" of tales. Yes, that would be a bad thing. ;-) Charissa always has a lot of great things to say, and randomly, some fecking awesome music to share! And omg, she gave ME a gift on HER birthday! How much do I dig her? Let me count the ways:

One-one thousand.
Two-one thousand.
Three-one thousand. . . .

It goes on.

Happy Birthday Charissa!

Vamps 24/7

2011-01-26T08:44:00.001-05:00

It’s all vamps all the time in my house these days. Which means the playlist is serious. Like, SERIOUS. (And if you missed it yesterday, I need some opinions on these chapters HERE. Please help me out. Thanks!)

I’ve been in this Indie Rock phase, but that doesn’t cut it when I’m working on The End of Days. For me, this requires some rock/metal. And since I have nothing to blog about today, I’m going to share some items from my playlist!

First up, we have the song that plays alongside that scene that requires some heartbreak action. The I-wanna-sob-cuz-I’m-getting-my-ass-dumped scene. Or something similar.

Staind ~ Pardon Me

This next one is my “Dinner” music. Side note: This is the True Blood version of the video and it’s fecking hawt.

Halestorm ~ Familiar Taste of Poison

Next on my list is the I’m-gonna-bleep-your-brains-out song.

Puddle of Mudd ~ Control

Mmmm . . . this one is my favorite. I have a lot of I’m-a-kick-ass-vamp-who’s-gonna-kill-you scenes. Natalie can hurt someone. Seriously. Watch out.

Shaman’s Harvest ~ Dragonfly

This one, too.

Drowning Pool ~ Bodies

Okay, so it’s not all Rock and Metal. I have one on my list for the “softer” moments.

Plumb ~ Cut

Obviously, since my vamps are a series of three books, my playlist has grown astronomically, so I’ve only bored you with a few. The list plays for well over an hour. It’s ca-razy.

Thanks for stopping in!

Now go write something brilliant.

Hey you! Stop. Help me.

2011-01-25T12:17:00.000-05:00

So here's the deal.

I'm working ever so hard on my MS, The End of Days. This is book 1 of my vampire series. I recently got my notes back and have since made a pretty hefty change--which included cutting 10K words from the beginning. My two buds, aka betas, have conflicting feelings over it. One hates, one loves.

Since I don't have a third beta to send it to, I'm going to ask you all to give this a read. I won't tell you what I did or why. I want your honest opinions. My tolerance for critiques is pretty high (unless you essentially spit on it and then I'll have to sic my vampires on you).

I've uploaded several chapters to CreateSpace. You can find them HERE.

You can leave your opinions there, or come back here and comment.

Thanks in advance!

What? It’s Friday? Oh, and Dialogue.

2011-01-21T09:41:00.001-05:00

Is it really Friday already?

Where the heck did the week go?

Oh, that’s right. I was in a Shadowfever for most of it. Not a bad way to lose most of the week.

On to the real topic of the day: Dialogue Mechanics. (I am so not an expert. I take my info from this handy dandy book right here –>)

“What’s the first thing acquisitions editors look for when they begin reading a fiction submission? Several editors we know have answered that question the same way: ‘The first thing I do is find a scene with some dialogue. If the dialogue doesn’t work, the manuscript gets bounced. If it’s good, I start reading.’”

Talk about pressure. As if the query and synopsis wasn’t enough to make you want to throw up. I have to admit that I probably never should have read the Twilight Saga. I know! I can’t believe I said it, either. Yes, it forced me to take a closer look at the first book I ever wrote and make it better. It re-ignited the flame and has yet to go out. But I took a lot of my ‘rules’ from that book. I practically studied it. Why? Because I’ve never taken a single writing class, I was fairly bad in English in school, and what the hell do I know? I’m a reader and I make up stories in my head when I’m trying to go to sleep (not that that actually ever made me sleep mind you).

Now, after blogging and reading all these books (like Self-Editing for Fiction Writers), I’m learning that Stephanie Meyer is the luckiest woman on the face of the earth. Nearly every rule went out the window for her.

I loved the way Meyer tagged her dialogue. LOVED it. Note the past tense? It’s lazy writing. Writing with tags that tell the reader how the dialogue sounded is telling rather than showing. Am I still guilty of doing this? Oh hell to the yeah I am. Because in early drafts, I just need to get the story out. I’m still learning better ways to let the reader know that my character was saying something sarcastically or sadly or happily or sharply or whatever. It’s patronizing to be told isn’t it? And the pet peeve topping my list of things that’ll set me off in a heartbeat is someone patronizing me.

It’s hard, but the more I work with it, the easier I’m finding it.

One way to fix this is to add a “beat”, or some physical action. Here’s the example from SEFW:

“I find that difficult to accept,” she said with astonishment.

OR

She dropped the whisk, splattering meringue up the cupboard door. “You can’t be serious.”

Note the change in dialogue, too. Had she said, “You’ve got to be kidding,” how differently would you have seen that reaction?

The first example works, but will an editor/agent accept it as great? Will half-assed dialogue and telling dialogue tags get you through the door? Do we, as unpublished writers, want to take that chance? I sure as hell don’t.

Charity Bradford suggested a fantastic blog to me to help with this exact thing. The Bookshelf Muse. It’s perfect for that tag you can’t figure out how to show, rather than tell. The BM has made it pretty much stupid proof for all of us. Check ‘em out!

Do you find that you have an issue with this like me? Or are you blessed with perfection and wish to share your tricks with the rest of the class? What say you?

Why @KarenMMoning = Brilliance

2011-01-20T09:15:00.001-05:00

Can I give a book six stars out of five? Can I give a SERIES ten out of five?

Why, yes, I believe I can.

Wowza. Jodi’s email to me this morning after finishing Shadowfever said, “What a journey!” Journey doesn’t even begin to describe it. I don’t know what the right word is. It was way more than a roller coaster ride, too.

Okay. So here’s my “book review”. Six out of five stars. I can’t really go into details because I’m not into giving up the spoilers and this book is one massive spoiler from the beginning. You may remember last Friday when I told you that I heard the first two chapters had been released and I couldn’t help myself? Remember how I said I fell to my floor? That was just a few pages in. (Mine is a cautionary tale . . . Don’t read Shadowfever while perched on the edge of your couch. Just sayin.)

So since I can’t give spoilers, and we’re all writers here, let me tell you how brilliant a writer she is. This series is five books long. FIVE. I’ve posted before about when series should end and how some stories just SHOULDN’T continue after three books. KMM must be a serious plotter. I only wish I could plot this good. Each book is packed with twists upon twists, and somehow she managed to leave the big ones unanswered (and there are a bunch) until the sixth book. I don’t know if I could, as a pantser, hold out that long. And the twists are so well written and twisted and knotted that you don’t know which side is up and you may think you know who is who and what is what, but you don’t. Jodi guessed several things right that I totally dismissed because I thought the same thing, too, once, but then something else happened and it didn’t make sense anymore. (I hope you followed that. This is why I should pants things.) Somehow, KMM made it all make sense in the end and I was smacking my forehead.

As far as the twists go, I can only imagine how she kept track of it all. There are so many. I imagine she must have had this huge white board in her office/lair where she tracked and it must have looked like one giant cluster f*ck. She had to have had something, cuz there’s no way I would have wrapped up everything as neatly as she did. Not as a pantser. I would have forgotten something fo sho. (She was probably all cool about it, too. She’d finish a chapter, sigh, smile, turn to her white board, pick up the tenth dry erase marker she’s been through – you know, cuz she’s been drying them all up because they’re getting so much use – and draws a simple line through each plot point. Or puts a small check next to it. Check! Le Sigh.)

Then there’s her “voice”. A-maze-ing. Amazing. Amazing. You don’t get better than that. You just don’t. And each character has their own. No question. We all worry about it. I know I do. Am I giving each character their own personality? Is it clear? Will people see the difference between them? You know what I’m talking about. KMM did it. I dare you to tell me I’m wrong. Forget that. I triple-dog-dare you.

Scenes were set up perfectly. I don’t know about anyone else, but I can get pretty deep into a scene that’s well written. But this was no joke. Yesterday I was reading a passage and I was, like, there. Someone – my son or husband – said something in another room and I realized that I forgot I was reading. As opposed to living it. It was a shock to the system, I’ll tell you that much. I stared at the page and was like, oh wait, words? What are those? I have to read those? I was totally sucked in, peeps. It was like a whole new definition for the word ‘immersed’.

Last thing I’ll tell you . . . for 48 hours straight my entire body was BUZZING. That’s how awesome this book was. I wanted to speed read it to get to the answers I so desperately needed, but couldn’t not read the amazing words on the page. And I got whiplash during one chapter from all the answers she threw at me. It wasn’t gentle. I guess after getting the “typical Barrons non-answers” for five books, I wasn’t expecting them.

That’s it. I’ll shut up now.

Oh, and don’t be jealous.

And the winner IS . . .

2011-01-18T12:14:00.000-05:00

Roland D. Yeomans

Roland was the clear favorite in my Show vs Tell Blogfest! If you haven't read his take on those murderous child zombies, head on over and check it out. It ROCKED. Roland has won a free 10 page critique or 4 page synopsis critique by CA Marshall.

Roland ~ I just need your email, so contact me at mistydawnwaters@gmail.com and I'll get you squared away.

ZOMG, it's almost TIME ~ I think I have a FEVER.

2011-01-17T14:26:00.000-05:00

First, today's the last day to vote for the particapants in my Show and Tell Blogfest! Unfortunately, Charity and Ellie couldn't particapate. Makes me sad! BUT we had some fantastic entries! You don't have to be a participant to enter, so feel free to read up and vote! Maybe you'll learn something new . . . who know? Couldn't hurt.

;-)

Okay, so back to the matter at hand.

It's almost time for Shadowfever. Ugh. God. I've gotten some of my girls to take on some of the Fever I've been afflicted with for TWO YEARS and they will tell you that I wasn't crazy. This series is ABSOULTELY worth reading. The last book is officially out tomorrow.

Karen Marie Moning dreampt this series in a complete plotline and tried to ignore it, apparently, but the voices wouldn't let her be. Thank GOD. After my friends finished the books, we've spent a god-awful amount of time trying to figure out just WHAT THE HELL is going to happen in the last book. KMM is effing brilliant. No doubt we are in for the shocks of our lives.

BUT not only is this story line brilliant, KMM's voice is UNBELIEVABLE. I thought it, and Jodi confirmed, that we are all amateurs in comparison. She is a-maze-ing. If you decide to pick it up, it does start out a little slow. I almost didn't make it past the first couple chapters. Jodi, too. Meredith, too. Tracy? I'm guessing you felt it, too, though you haven't said as much. BUT, once the story gets going, it doesn't stop. It's incredible.

Karen has created magnificent characters in Mac, Barrons, V'lane, Christian, Rowena, Dani . . . even the Dreamy Eyed Boy. They are brilliantly different and you want to hate/love/live these characters. She's created a world in which the Seelie and the Unseelie fight for our planet while Mac just simply wants to find out who killed her sister. Only she finds out that she's the key to stopping this whole thing.

It's Urban Fantasy at its best. Even if you don't usually read this genre, you won't be disappointed.

Show and Tell Blogfest

2011-01-15T10:00:00.000-05:00

Today’s the day!

For those of you just passing through, feel free to visit the participants and vote for your favorite! The winner of this fest will win a free 10 page critique or 4 page synopsis critique by the ever-so-talented CA Marshall!

Here are the participants:

~ Nindogs

~ Christopher S Ledbetter

~ Tessa

The Rules:

#1 ~ Choose a picture (find here). On January 15th, give us your example of Show and Tell (one each).
#2 ~ All entries must be posted no later than the 15th and no more than 1,000 words in length for your show, no more than 500 for your tell. You’ll have the 15th thru the 17th to read and comment on all entries. Remember to BE NICE in your comments. Offer constructive criticism.
#3 ~ Write your piece in whatever genre you’re comfortable with. We love them all!
#4 ~ You vote for the winner! I’ll post all the names for votes on my blog and will leave it up until the 18th. Make sure to tell your followers to vote, too!

Okay, so here’s my entry. And because I’m not putting myself in the running, I’ve decided to NOT play by my own rules. Mwahahahaha! When I got the idea for this blogfest, I’d found this awesome pic on CoolVibe whilst looking for some inspiration for my Nano The Last Oracle. It’s not one of the 7 I chose for everyone else, but it’s still super-sweet. Following this will be my “TELL”.

I sucked in a breath and turned toward the moonlight, basking in its bright light and holding myself. The moon seemed so close in this new realm. It seemed much larger than the sun and infinitely more alluring. The reflections bounced off the water like diamonds, drawing my eyes. But that’s not what held my attention.
It was the music.
Soft and beautiful, the melody reached me and filled me with its caress. It was like an orchestra of flutes or some other such instrument that I couldn’t name. For a moment, I wondered if it was coming from the area where the bonfire still lit up the sky further down the bank, but then I realized that it wasn’t coming from my left. No, it was in front of me.
A head peaked out of the water, cast in shadow and moonlight, indiscernible to my eyes from that distance. What I did see was the head return to the water followed by a large fin. I could only compare it to the tail of a whale as it retreated back into the ocean. This tail was nowhere near as large, nor did it follow a sea creature. The figure may have been unclear, but the shape had been human.
I didn’t think long on this oddity. The music was too much to ignore. It called to me. I could almost hear my name in its notes. When the figure appeared again, this time there was no question what I was seeing or that she was producing the sweet music. She was beautiful. Her bare shoulders just breached the surface of the shallow water, her long hair, black as mine, covered her nudity with its thickness, but did nothing to hide her tail. A mermaid. I never thought I’d see that. Not even in this strange new realm of fantastical creatures.
She turned to her side and propped up on one pale arm, regarding me with such an endearing expression of love. “Hello,” she said, her voice as beautiful as her melody.
The moonlight reflected off the blues and purples of her scales, drawing my eyes momentarily from her face. The tip of her tail danced and swayed across the surface as if she were now playing a harp.
“Hello,” I said softly, letting my eyes drift back to her face.
Her red, full lips turned up into an engaging smile. “You are the Oracle,” she said. “I can see it in your aura. It has been far too long since I’ve seen such light. I’d give almost anything to have it.”
And I wanted her to have it. All I had to do was give it to her. Simple enough. I was barely aware that I’d taken several steps into the cool water. I could feel the pebbles of the river floor beneath the thin soles of my shoes, digging into my feet painfully, but it didn’t matter. Reaching her – that’s what mattered. Being one with her music – that’s what mattered.
She stood now, her tail disappearing to give her long legs. Her arms extended, awaiting me. It mattered not that she was completely nude – she was beautiful to behold. I wanted to be her. What woman wouldn’t?
“Come,” she said. “Let me take away your pain.”
My pain? Yes, she could have that, too, if she wanted.
“Your pain for your light, that’s all I ask.”
I would give her whatever she wanted for free.
Her arms finally found me, enfolding me in them and pulling me against her body. I felt at home there. When she pulled away, I looked into her obsidian eyes and watched them as they swirled in a slow circle, enthralling me. Her hands moved up to my face, her gaze now following her fingers as they traced lines over my cheeks and along my jaw. Her red lips parted ever so slightly and a sweet, yet acrid scent filled my nostrils. She closed the space between us then, pressing her soft lips to mine.
The world around me began to grow dark and I could feel myself falling, but I had no control over any of this. She had me, this strange and beautiful woman. She was taking care of me. My name rang in my ears from several different sources, but I didn’t care. My pain was going away and stopping the process now would be detrimental.
Another song filled the air around me and the woman holding me tensed. Her lips lifted from mine and I weakly begged her to stay, but instead, she released me. Water covered my face and I felt her arms wrap around my waist and haul me back up. I was so tired now, my body hanging limply in her arms, and I could hardly keep my eyes open. I could feel my long hair, thick with water, falling to the side and brushing her bare leg.
The two songs increased in speed and intensity, both pulling me in opposite directions now. I longed to be wherever each of them was, but it was impossible to have both. I think the music was the only thing keeping me from slipping into unconsciousness, so I held on to it, not wanting to stop listening for even a second.
The legs beside my head morphed together and returned to the blue and purple tail I’d seen before. The mermaid and I slipped slowly into the water and I felt her arm tighten around my waist just moments before she turned and lunged into the river – taking me with her.
I’d had no last breath. I barely had any air left at all and I was too tired to attempt holding onto what I had. When my lungs reflexively searched for air, they filled with the river water and my body jerked awake at the shock of it, but the mermaid continued to pull me further into the water.
I felt something coil around my left ankle and pull hard. It surprised both me and the mermaid as I slipped free of her arms. I longed to stay with her, yet at the same time, I needed air desperately. I was choking on the water that had filled my lungs and they burned, but there was no air to be had under this dark river.
The mermaid, her face angry, swam for me, pulling at my arms as another attempt to free me of the water pulled at my ankle. I could do nothing to help either one, because darkness finally took me.

TELL:

I came to a stop on the bank of the river, watching the moonlight dance on the water. I could have watched it for a long time, but another movement caught my attention. I couldn’t take my eyes off the shape of a person in the water and soon realized that it was a mermaid. Like a siren, the mermaid tempted me with her song.
She came closer, her tail forming into human legs. She spoke words that tempted me – promised to release me from my pain – and I took no note of the underlying threat. I thought only on being free from the hurt I felt.
We came together and I let her take me into her arms like a lover, but soon another song filled my ears, startling the woman who held me. I couldn’t choose. Each song called to me, but I couldn’t do anything even if I wanted to. My body no longer followed the instructions of my mind.
The mermaid took me with her into the water, bringing me down . . . down . . . down . . . deep into it’s dark depths. I couldn’t breathe, and sucked in a breath only to take in the river water. More than air, though, I just wanted to stay with her.
A tug on my ankle fought against the mermaid’s hold on me, making her angry. I slipped free of her arms and let the thing pulling me to the surface bring me closer to the air I so desperately needed. Only I couldn’t make it that long.
I lost consciousness before I even reached the surface.

Enjoy the rest of the entries. I hope that at least one person learned something today! Don’t forget to cast your vote for your favorite!

Shut. Up. Right. Now.

2011-01-14T13:23:00.000-05:00

This is totally not writer/reader related, but . . . . ?!?! Okay maybe the first part is.

The first time I fell to my floor today - YES, literally - was because of the book version of ultimate shock thanks to the first 2 chapter accidental release of Shadowfever. Picture me on the edge of my couch reading the downloaded PDF file. I rolled right off the edge to the floor. Karen Marie Moning is brilliant, yet I hate her right now. Torturous BIT-- Uh, never mind.

Ahem.

Then I fell when I saw this (not literally that time, but definitely figuratively).

Has your sign changed? The new Zodiac chart:

Capricorn: January 20 to February 16
Aquarius: February 16 to March 11
Pisces: March 11 to April 18
Aries: April 18 to May 13
Taurus: May 13 to June 21
Gemini: June 21 to July 20
Cancer: July 20 to August 10
Leo: August 10 to September 16
Virgo: September 16 to October 30
Libra: October 30 to November 23
Scorpio: November 23 to November 29
Ophiuchus: November 29 to December 17
Sagittarius: December 17 to January 20

What the HELL? Did you notice the 3rd sign? Ca-razy.

That's all. Feel free to laugh at me because I SERIOUSLY fell to the floor. Karen makes living next to impossible.

The Unobtrusive Character

2011-01-13T05:00:00.000-05:00

I used to think “show and tell” was the biggest problem I had.

Not so, says the red ink in my MS.

Apparently characterization is a pretty big issue. It bothers me when I read something in first person and I have no idea what color their hair is or eyes or are they fat, skinny, tall, short . . . I need to KNOW.

These days it’s not easy to just simply write, I’m tall with blond hair and blue eyes. Because everyone of us wags a finger at it. We all do. Even me – well, now I do. Don’t tell me. Show me. Am I right?

And we’re back to show vs tell ~ the Character version.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that only 1% of your first person POV’s has the ability to talk about themselves. Don’t believe me? I know some of you just shook your head and said, No effin’ way. Misty’s just lost her damn fool mind.

Okay, maybe less than 1%, but there’s still like a 0.5%. Example? Mac from Karen Marie Moning’s Fever Series. (I can’t tell enough people to read this series. Seriously.) Mac is a girly-girl who LOVES to talk about herself. She’s the typical Southern Beauty who wants to wear every shade of pink imaginable, put on the prettiest clothes and heels, and flash those pearly whites at every man who catches her eye. Mac can talk about herself and get away with it. Reading it is so effing natural you don’t even realize that it’s happened.

I tried to emulate this in one of my MS’s and everyone told me to get the EFF out of town. It’s not workin. Why? Because it wasn’t in my character’s makeup. It wasn’t believable.

So what do you do?

Let someone else characterize your MC, not you. “Someone” being another character, and most likely through dialogue and/or action. I think this can work for both physical description as well as personality description.

I’ve most recently run into problems with the physical description of my MC. I really dislike finding out mid-way through a book that the MC’s hair is blond when I started imagining a brunette after a quarter of the way through because the author neglected to talk about it. They say to ease the info in somehow, but damn . . . there has to be a point in which you’ve gone too far. I’ve done the look in the mirror and see yourself thing. It’s not working. And my CP’s are right . . . who thinks about things like the color of hair and eyes when looking in the mirror? UNLESS you’re me and standing in front of the Almay section at Target wondering which colors would go best with my green/hazel eyes. Just sayin. It’s an idea. I don’t think about my hair color until I think about how my next hair appointment is coming up and do I want to dye my brown hair blond? Why yes, I do – and did. But will it work for the character I created? I don’t know. Depends on the personality I give her.

My cure for this in my most recent revision was to have Natalie compare her differences to Travis.

It seemed that more and more eyes fell on us, a walking contradiction of the other – tall and broad, short and thin, brown hair, blond hair; the only thing we shared was our blue eye color.

Does it work? In this case I think it does. I didn’t get in the fact that her hair is long and she has bangs, but those things are easy to fit in later with physical movements – brushing aside the bangs or tossing her long hair over her shoulder. For now, that was enough. Plus, it was in the first chapter – perfect for someone like me who wants to SEE who I’m reading. Not to mention that it’s just little enough to allow me to use my imagination.

What kinds of tricks do you use? Inquiring minds want to know.

Will it EVER end?

2011-01-12T05:00:00.001-05:00

Will what ever end, you ask?

That series you loved.

You know. Way back when.

Like FIVE years ago. Or ten in some cases. And yet, it continues.

Two different YA series bring me to this topic. Most recently the House of Night series, but before that, The Immortals series. I will still read these books because by now I just need to know WTF!!

The Immortals has one more left, bringing the series to the end at six books. House of Night on the other hand just released book EIGHT and if I remember correctly, they plan on ending around book TWELVE.

So I ask you this: When SHOULD a series end?

I told my girl Jodi this morning that the last HON book felt like it was written for middle grade, but they can’t class it as such because they say the “F” word a lot and the MC has lots o’ sex with her boyfriend (one of 3 at a time – but he’s the only one for now). Definitely not a series you’d probably want your 13 year old or younger daughter reading for sure.

Plus, PC and Kristen Cast are big on the REPEAT of things. They repeat descriptions and settings and the damn “circle casting”s. After all the books, I’m crossing my fingers that I don’t have to read another full casting. For me, all this repeat is a “what not to do” manual. But this is only MY opinion. Feel free to love the series to pieces. I’m not saying I hate the series, just getting bored.

But I digress. (shocker, I know)

The question is when should a series end. I think for a MG, you can pretty much go on forever. Didn’t you love those series that didn’t end when you were that age? I sure did. I think that once you hit the YA circuit – and especially now that more adults are reading them – you can’t write a decent storyline and manage to keep everyone hooked unless you attempt to fit it into fewer books. The Cast ladies have drug their series out for far too long.

What’s the magic # for you? I wrote my first YA for NANOWRIMO and don’t plan on more than 3. What say you?

Across the Universe (squee!)

2011-01-11T08:36:00.000-05:00

First of all, congrats to Beth Revis on her release! Please, please – if you don’t already – FOLLOW HER. She is amazing. I have been a semi-long time follower and was a fan from DAY 1. Seriously.

And today is HER day guys. Her book Across the Universe has made for some serious blog posts of late. No doubt you’ve run across them and heard all the GREAT reviews. If you haven’t placed your pre-order, you can order now to Amazon.com. Or if you’re super lucky and have a bookstore around the corner (which I don’t – boo), just get in your car and head on over.

So here’s all the skinny! I’ve got a lot of great stuff for you!! First up, meet BETH!

How flippin super sweet is that ship? *scratches head* I knew I should have put a patent on that design. *kicks dirt* Darn it.

ANYWAY. Take a tour of Godspeed on the newly designed website! http://www.acrosstheuniversebook.com/ Some of you may have swung by in the past, read the amazing first chapter, and aren’t even close to be tempted to re-visit, but this is totally NEW, so go check it out.

ALSO . . . (Jeez, I know, you can’t believe I’m not finished yet, but rest assured, there’s a LOT to thrill you with.) Have you seen this amazing TRAILER???!!!

Did you notice the whole LAUREN AMBROSE part of that? She sounds amazing! Lauren Ambrose, along with another “voice” (no name on iTunes), are reading the audiobook. If you’re a lover of audiobooks, then you know how important it is for a book to have a decent reader(s). You won’t be disappointed!

Still not sure if you’re interested? (If you’re not already interested, then we can’t be friends. Just sayin.)

i09 is posting an 111 page insert today from 11:11am to 11:11pm EST! GO! RUN! READ! LOVE!

WAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!! Hold on. Just a couple more things.

Here’s some linkage:

Website: http://www.bethrevis.com/
Blog: http://bethrevis.blogspot.com/
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bethrevis

Website: http://www.penguin.com/teen
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/penguinteen
Facebook fan page: http://www.facebook.com/penguinteenbooks

Go visit, fan, and follow!

Now you can go. Don’t forget to come back and tell me how much you love this book!

The Inadvertent NY Resolution

2011-01-10T05:00:00.000-05:00

I don’t make resolutions.

I can’t remember a time when I did to be honest. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with making them. Make away.

In the start of 2011, I just kind of decided that I’m going to be patient. I don’t know if it was the result of a conversation I had with my husband over eventually getting published or if the timing was just there. I didn’t consciously make this decision.

But I did.

I’m not going to say to all of you “Patience is a Virtue” bla, bla, bla. Whatever. What I am going to say is that if it’s meant to be, it will happen. I know I’m going to get there. My gut says so. My MS’s are coming back all redlined to hell, but I shrug and tell myself, It’s the process. I’m still learning. And my story’s are good. I just need to make them great. That redline blinding me from within my latest love will only help me on my way to greatness, and one day someone else will view my love and make it their love, too.

So if you do anything for yourself this year, do this: take a deep breath.

It’ll happen.

Now, because that was probably the most adult thing I’ve said and done all year, I need to digress. Here. Laugh with me.

Now go write something fantastic!

Inspiration Central

2011-01-08T05:00:00.000-05:00

It’s the weekend and that means you’re writing. Or trying to, am I right? Odds are, if you’re on Blogger/RSS feed/Whatever, you’re procrastinating. That one scene is being difficult. Elusive. The muse is dancing around like rain man calling for the big idea.

So here you go rain man.

I love music, and during NANOWRIMO I realized that it’s not only me who uses it as a tool, so here are some of my favorites. Maybe one will help.

(Speaking of inspiration, choose one of the 7 inspirational pics for my blogfest next weekend and JOIN! Who doesn’t want a free crit from CA Marshall? Clicky the pick on my sidebar to go directly to the post.)

On we go . . .

Breathe Me ~ Sia

Belief (Stripped Version ~ Gavin DeGraw

Walking On Air ~ Kerli

Blood Bank ~ Bon Iver

Dirty Laundry (Skeewiff Remix) ~ Bitter:Sweet

Spell ~ Marie Digby

Bloodstream ~ Stateless

I’m not JUST a writer . . .

2011-01-07T05:30:00.008-05:00

I’m a critic, apparently, too. Who knew?

Tracy posted about this yesterday, but I have to talk about this, too, because two things have happened recently that are STILL making me nuts.

First, I read Hush Hush and Crescendo – both recommended – and I thoroughly disliked them for many reasons. Writer type reasons. I guess the story was okay, but I couldn’t get over a lot of the problems with the book. You may have noticed if you’ve read them yourself. IDK. Hell, you may be one of the millions that LOVE this series and I’m just crazy. I’m not going to rant about this. I’m definitely not going to bash the author, but I wonder where the EDITOR was in all this? I think a lot of my problem were issues that should have been cleaned up by an editor.

Whatever. It’s published. It’s out there. No one said I have to love it. I’m still jealous cuz Becca Fitzpatrick is probably making loads of money off the incredible sales. *shrugs* Good for her. Seriously.

My second problem is from this ridiculous show my son LOVES on Nick. I don’t like 90% of the shows he watches, but this one I can’t stand. And when this particular writing mishap happened, it only confirmed my hatred.

I’m not going to name the show, but there are 2 female leads and they’re dancers – some of you parents may know EXACTLY which show I’m referring to. Anyway, they’re like, 14? 15? They go up to the hotel room of some 16 yr old famous singer guy and the mom of one of the dancers calls her. When she tells her mom who’s room they’re in the mom asks her to ask the guy if he can get her Barry Manilow’s autograph.

Problem #1. I’m the mom of a 9 year old. MY mom would ask me this question. Barry Manilow is NOT someone I grew up listening to because he was popular in MY day, but because I was forced to listen to what my mom listened to. Not even my friends who are 5-10 years older than me listen to Barry Manilow. Cher I might understand, but Barry? Uh, no.

Problem #2. Let’s say for the sake of argument that I AM a fan of Barry and I have a 14 yr old daughter in this situation. Would this 16 year old boy REALLY know Barry? NO. Like maybe 99% sure of this.

My point is this. Is the writer of this middle grade series in his/her 60’s or something? Couldn’t they find a better example that actually SUITED the situation? Because when my kid has to ask me who Barry Manilow is and doesn’t get the punchline, there’s a problem.

I totally nearly made this type of mistake when writing my nano – my first YA. My 17 yr old character is referring to “old hot guy” actor type and I name Sean Connery. Like, isn’t Sean still that old “hot” guy for many of us? Definitely. But for a 17 year old? Not so much. I totally had to Facebook my 16 yr old niece and ask. Who is it, you ask? You’re going to feel mighty old when I tell you.

That’s right. Johnny Depp. *sigh*

Okay, I’m done. What’s bugged you recently?

Book Review: Storm Born

2011-01-06T05:00:00.000-05:00

Just typical. No love life to speak of for months, then all at once, every horny creature in the Otherworld wants to get in your pants...

Eugenie Markham is a powerful shaman who does a brisk trade banishing spirits and fey who cross into the mortal world. Mercenary, yes, but a girl's got to eat. Her most recent case, however, is enough to ruin her appetite. Hired to find a teenager who has been taken to the Otherworld, Eugenie comes face to face with a startling prophecy--one that uncovers dark secrets about her past and claims that Eugenie's first-born will threaten the future of the world as she knows it.

Now Eugenie is a hot target for every ambitious demon and Otherworldy ne'er-do-well, and the ones who don't want to knock her up want her dead. Eugenie handles a Glock as smoothly as she wields a wand, but she needs some formidable allies for a job like this. She finds them in Dorian, a seductive fairy king with a taste for bondage, and Kiyo, a gorgeous shape-shifter who redefines animal attraction. But with enemies growing bolder and time running out, Eugenie realizes that the greatest danger is yet to come, and it lies in the dark powers that are stirring to life within her...

I don't break away from reading YA's a whole lot, but my love of Richelle Mead's Vampire Academy series has led me to read her Succubus series and now the Dark Swan series.

Richelle does not disappoint in the first book of the Dark Swan series. Not even a little bit. For such a small gal (and yes, having seen her in person, I know this to be a fact) she has BIG humor. Her use of sarcasm rivals my own - and mine is pretty massive. I was in love with this book from page 1. And I was in true lust with Kiyo from the moment he walked into the bar on page whatever it was.

True to RM form, Eugenie is a very strong female lead who kicks major A$$. I found her to very similar to Rose from VA, actually, and I cannot get enough of Rose. (I'm still in mourning because the VA series is over. I want to cry daily.) I was a little worried at first over the whole "knock her up" plot, but this was handled in a way to make it non-corny.

Richelle Mead, if you've never read her, is a great author and can surprise the best of us. You won't see things coming, I can tell you that much. I somehow managed to guess a couple things correctly in the final VA book, but didn't really think I was right - that's how good she is. She's also big on the 3rd book devastation factor. I'm already dreading what she's going to do to Eugenie and I haven't even read book 2, Thorn Queen, yet.

So if you love a good fantasy and don't mind a little "steam", then this is the book for you. I totally recommend it.

New Creation Blogfest

2011-01-05T05:00:00.025-05:00

Welcome to my Blogfest entry! This sounded so simple at the time, but then I had to actually FIND a good ending sentence. LOL. Not so fun, people! Anyway. Check out more entries via Summer's "Inner Fairy"!

(Also, sign up for my Show and Tell blogfest via the fancy pic on your right! Winner is chosen by peers and wins their choice of a 10 page crit or 4 page synopsis crit by CA Marshall!)

Rules for the New Creation Blogfest:
1)Pick one ending sentence from last years stories, your favorite one that you wrote. (Only one, and yes it has to be an ending sentence)
2) Write one brand new starting sentence for a story you have been thinking about, or something off the top of your head. But it must be your first sentence. (Yes only one, and yes it must be new.)

1: My ending sentence comes from book 1 in my Preternatural Series, The End of Days. (It's a cliffhanger ending . . . mwahahahaha!)

"When the group descended upon me, I moved away from the bars of the cell, the faces of the angry council before me - Eos angriest of all."

2: A brand new sentence. Hmmmm. Well, let's do the first line to my sequel that I plan to write for my Nano novel. Here goes.

"Whoever said being in the arms of the man you love wouldn't be lonely didn't know what they were talking about."

So there you have it! Short and sweet. Thanks for stopping by!

Showing and Telling

2011-01-04T05:00:00.000-05:00

What is it that we KNOW about this?

I didn’t know a G/Damned thing about this until someone said, Hey, you there, f*cking show me, beotch. You tell me too much. Well, not like that exactly, but you know what I mean. Of course, at the time, my reaction was something like:

EXACTLY like that.

My first real clue was from Charissa Weaks blog. Like my upcoming blogfest (clicky image and sign the hell up, people!) she posted pictures and had writers give their versions of showing vs. telling the story in the picture. (I linked directly to her first week if you wanna check it out.) I’m definitely a show instead of tell me kind of person. I’d been seeing blogs all over the place that week explaining it to me until I was cross-eyed, but hers hit me and I instantly understood.

Another good example, and I’ll actually put this all in for you to view, is the example given in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers – How to edit yourself into print. by Renni Browne and Dave King. I purchased this a month ago and now I carry it around in my purse. For reals. (It’s in my must reads scrollymajig. Yes, that’s a real word. *coughs* Okay, not really.) I wish I had this book from DAY 1!! It’s like editing for dummies – and by dummies, I mean me.

So here’s the deal. You can tell me anything you want in a few short paragraphs and they can be impeccably written, but you’re still only telling me. Here’s the example of a telling paragraph from the book:

The conversation was barely begun before I discovered that our host was more than simply a stranger to most of his guests. He was an enigma, a mystery. and this was a crowd that doted on mysteries. In the space of no more than five minutes, I heard several different people put forth their theories – all equally probable or preposterous – as to who and what he was. Each theory was argued with the conviction that can only come from a lack of evidence, and it seemed that, for many of the guests, these arguments were the main reason to attend his parties.

What’s wrong with this? Nothing, really. Sounds good, doesn’t it? I thought so, but who am I? Did you have any clue that this was a scene “shown” in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby?

“I like to come,” Lucille said. “I never care what I do, so I always have a good time. When I was here last, I tore my gown on a chair, and he asked me my name and address – within a week I got a package from Croirier’s with a new evening gown in it.”

“Did you keep it?” asked Jordan.

“Sure I did. I was going to wear it tonight, but it was too big in the bust and had to be altered. It was gas blue with lavender beads. Two hundred and sixty-five dollars.”

“There’s something funny about a fellow that’ll do a thing like that,” said the other girl eagerly. “He doesn’t want any trouble with anybody.”

“Who doesn’t?” I inquired.

“Gatsby. Somebody told me—”

The two girls and Jordan leaned together confidentially.

“Somebody told me they thought he killed a man.”

A thrill passed over all of us. The three Mr. Mumbles bent forward and listened eagerly.

“I don’t think it’s so much that,” argued Lucille skeptically; “it’s more that he was a German spy during the war.”

One of the men nodded in confirmation.

“I heard that from a man who knew all about him, grew up with him in Germany,” he assured us positively.

“Oh, no,” said the first girl, “it couldn’t be that, because he was in the American army during the war." As our credulity switched back to her, she leaned forward with enthusiasm. “You look at him sometimes when he thinks nobody’s looking at him. I’ll bet he killed a man.”

Now, which one did you prefer? Once I read the actual scene, I was like, oh sh*t! That was so much more fun to read!

Just remember that not all narrative summary is a bad thing. These great scenes back to back to back can become exhausting to read, so breaking it up with a bit of narrative – especially when written well – can be just the break needed. Narrate the passing of time, anything repetitive – for example, those steamy sex scenes. *Ahem* You know the ones I speak of, ladies. I noticed recently in Richelle Mead’s Storm Born as well as in her Succubus Series, that she’ll write that one really good scene, and the rest will be narrated (unless it’s a whole new partner, then, well . . .). The editing book’s example is a story about someone who runs in a lot of races. Show one race and narrate the rest. I like my example better, don’t you?

One last thing to ponder: Did any of you notice in the Gatsby example the small scale telling? We were told how the characters reacted! When writing, think about ways to show, rather than tell (Lord knows I still need work in this area), or don’t tell/show at all! Think about the dialogue. Is it idiot proof? Will the reader SEE the character’s reaction all on their own?

In a recent critique, my CP read a line in my dialogue that I didn’t narrate/tag at all. I wrote it and moved on. I went back and stared at it for a while. I pondered it for a bit. Should I show the reaction as I saw it in my head?

I didn’t and she commented back that she SAW the reaction and loved it.

Just something to nibble on.

Now go write something spectacular.

Oh, and join my damn blogfest! There might be some free editing services in your future if you win!! Details soon, peeps.

January = crazy book month

2011-01-03T14:13:00.000-05:00

I mean. I don't know about the rest of you, but my next 3 Tuesdays are completely booked. PLUS I just started reading Richelle Meads Storm Born . . . le sigh. Oh. My. God. That shit is just HAWT.

Let's talk about this for just a minute, because there was a reason why I started reading it. (I've been putting it off until her 3rd comes out shortly - I can't put her books down and end up scarfing them down in a day. Ridiculous.) I read the worst books ever. This is my reason. Crazy, but true. I'm a total fish out of water in this opinion, but after reading Hush Hush and Crescendo, I needed to cleanse my brain and eyeballs of ridiculousness and get me some Adult (ADULT - hint, hint) book reading time.
I don't dislike books that often. I'm pretty open to a lot of stuff, but this was crossing the line for me. I bitched out loud to my husband a thousand times and he could care less about anything that has a single word on it unless its some non-fiction BS about a dead President.
I also tell all of my adult bff's that YA books ROCK. Don't judge a genre by it's cover. Read away and love the pants of 'em. Adults - Don't read Hush Hush and Crescendo. Only your 16 year old will relate to the MC and her over-reactions. Seriously.
So I had to break open Storm Born early and now have a new boyfriend (and Dimitri replacement - yes I said it) in Kiyo. ZOMG, he's hot. ThankyouRichelleMead. I will forever be in your debt.

OKAY, on to the big release month for the Misty Waters.

Tomorrow. The new House of Night release, Awakened. What is this? Like, book 100 in the series? IDK, but I'm on it. I really like this series, but I wouldn't be sad for it to end. I feel like PC and Kristen are dragging this out and milking every dollar they can from this idea. Each book is only a few days and continues from where it left off in the next book.

Next week. That's right! Across the Universe is finally here! Crossing my fingers that Beth gets some outstanding sales and reviews for her first book! I'm already hearing outstanding things about this, so I'm looking forward to it! Got my pre-order in and will be anxiously watching the mailbox.

January 18th. Oh. My. God. In. Heaven.
I have been waiting for this damn book for like TWO YEARS!!! They kept pushing the date back, too - the bastards. But I love KMM, so I can't be mad. Barrons could eat my new boyfriend Kiyo for lunch, btw. I am MADLY in love with him. MADLY I tell you. MADLY.
This is the 5th and final book in the fever series. I saw a pic of her final draft and I swear it was 3-4 reams thick. It's seriously like 2 normal books long.
And I am going to Eat. It. Up. I may have to take a few days off work for this one. My husband may call the police and get that missing person report started. Seriously.

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-24T11:54:00.001-05:00

I’m digging myself out of my deep revisions to say Merry Chrishmahanzkwanzica to everyone! I have some blog posts planned, but when do I ever get so many free days in a row to hide behind my laptop and work? So, I’ve been ignoring you and I apologize. I’ll be back in full swing after the holiday mess.

What particular holiday tradition are you looking forward to today/tomorrow? My sister-in-law and I were talking the other day that we grew up watching It’s a Wonderful Life, but since marrying into the Waters family, we’ve been forced into watching A Christmas Story. Funnily enough, she and I never saw that movie before we got married.

I thoroughly dislike this movie.

Yell, throw things at me, whatever, but I can’t help it. I’m not a fan of the Chevy Chase movie’s either.

So, Mel and I have decided that we’re going with OUR holiday movie this year and I’m looking forward to it more than you can imagine. I haven’t seen this movie in far too long and none of our children have seen it at all!

Enjoy your holiday! I hope you get all that you asked Santa for!

Don’t forget to sign up for my Show vs Tell Blogfest! (Click pic on upper right)

Um, so, yeah. I’m doing a blogfest.

2010-12-15T18:45:00.004-05:00

UPDATE! Prize for this blogfest is a 10 page critique or 4 page synopsis critique from CA Marshall ~ Your choice. OR use the price ($35) as credit towards a full critique which is typically around $500.

Click her button to view her services.

I mentioned that I wanted to do this, like, ten followers ago, so I think I’ve procrastinated enough, don’t you? Here’s the pic for your sidebars, posts etc. . . . Not mandatory, but a mention on a blog post to spread the word would be AWESOME. Link directly to this post.

(All pictures for this fest are from CoolVibe ~ a great site for inspiration!)

That’s right! Why not show ourselves off and learn a little something in the process?? Since Charissa Weaks started doing her version of Show vs Tell on her site, I have learned soooo much about this. I’m not great at it, by any means, but it was an eye opening experience. (I linked to her example b/c this is how we’re doing the fest and I wanted you to see some examples.)

#1 ~ Choose a picture below. On January 15th, give us your example of Show and Tell (one each).

#2 ~ All entries must be posted no later than the 15th and no more than 1,000 words in length for your show, no more than 500 for your tell. You’ll have the 15th thru the 17th to read and comment on all entries. Remember to BE NICE in your comments. Offer constructive criticism.

#3 ~ Write your piece in whatever genre you’re comfortable with. We love them all!

#4 ~ You vote for the winner! I think that’s the best way to choose. I’ll post all the names for votes on my blog and will leave it up until the 18th. Make sure to tell your followers to vote, too! ~~(Not entirely sure what the winning prize is just yet, but I’m sure I can come up with something.)~~

That’s it! Like I said, if you need an example of what we’re doing here, check out the link to Charissa Weak’s blog. Your pics and Mr. Linky are below! Good luck!!

#1 Aion Love
#2 Zombie Playground
#3 Forest of the Druids
#4 Prisoners
#5 The Last View
#6 You!
#7 Snatch

If I Stay

2010-12-14T21:26:00.001-05:00

Um, so yeah. *sobs* I just cried my damn fool eyeballs out. Like, seriously? I didn’t have enough torture reading The Sky is Everywhere earlier this year?

I don’t EVER run across books like these in my reading adventures and I blame the blogs for bringing them to my attention.

If Catherine Hardwick effs up this movie I’m gonna be pissed. Just sayin.

I’ve had a few books bring me tears this year, but this was ridiculous, people. I swear to God I cried through this whole thing. A. Maze. Ing. I would even venture to say I liked this better than The Sky is Everywhere, which I swore by.

Where She Went will be released next April and now feels like a lifetime away. I just read a SPOILER that says Mia leaves Adam?! What?!

My heart is ba-reaking right now.

Anyway. I’m done. That’s what I read and loved and devoured and will never pick up again for fear that I’ll cry my damn eyeballs out again, and this time, my husband will truly think I’ve lost my damn mind.

Query Letter Blogfest Take 2!

2010-12-13T15:36:00.000-05:00

No doubt I've missed everyone by now (I think I got like 4 visitors for the blogfest since working on this revision.), but I'm re-posting anyway! There were so many great suggestions yesterday - a lot to think about - and trying to pare this down into fewer words was quite a challenge, but I think it works now. I understand how confused everyone was getting, but there are REALLY two main plots and two mc's. As most of you caught, I wrote this in two pov's and wanted that to be clear in my query - I clearly did my job there.

Anyway . . . try this on for size and let me know what you think.

Dear Ginger Clark,

Having a sociopath as an ex-boyfriend should be the worst of Sydney Wilson’s problems, but seeing spirits her entire twenty-eight years of life makes the ex seem normal. Then again, a spirit never sent her running halfway across the country to escape.

Detective Joe Ortiz has a decision to make: follow Sydney and ignore her attempts to keep him safe from her unpredictable ex, or stay and find the evidence that proves her ex is his brother’s murderer. Her effort proves to be misguided when he narrowly escapes an explosion meant to kill him and the decision is clear.

Sydney discovers a new spirit hovering around, but she has little time to pay attention to him – despite his chilling looks and behavior - because Joe shows up on her doorstep, reigniting a flame she was trying desperately to snuff out. The bliss doesn’t last long as it seems trouble follows her and Joe no matter how far they run.

When Sydney nearly dies at the hand of an attacker he can’t see, Joe’s entire belief system is questioned. Meanwhile, Sydney’s ex has found them, leaving more bodies in his wake. These murders, hitting close to home, forces Joe to ignore the evil he can’t see to fight the one he can, leaving Sydney to face the spirit on her own.

Two Shades of Evil is a work of Paranormal Suspense and is complete at 92,000 words.
Thank you for your consideration.

Misty Waters
(phone number)
Mistydawnwaters(at)gmail(dot)com
http://mistydawnwaters.blogspot.com

So there you have it! Thanks again to everyone for their help!!

Query Letter Blogfest!

2010-12-12T11:21:00.001-05:00

I’m going to make this short and sweet so you can move on to more entries! (Find those HERE.) I’m going to try very hard to get to your entries, but my Sunday is actually going to consist of a lot of work, so if you don’t see me today, I’ll be by tomorrow.

Dear Ms. Clark,

Having a sociopath as an ex-boyfriend should be the worst of Sydney Wilson’s problems, but seeing spirits her entire life makes the situation with the ex-boyfriend kind of normal. But then again, a spirit never sent her running halfway across the country to escape, either.
When Sydney leaves town, Joe Ortiz has a decision to make: follow and ignore her attempts to keep him safe from her ex, or stay and continue to look for the evidence to put her ex behind bars for the murder of Joe’s brother. He makes his decision after narrowly escaping an explosion meant to kill him.
Sydney discovers a new spirit in her childhood home, but she has little time to pay attention to him because Joe shows up on her doorstep, reigniting a flame she’d tried desperately to snuff out. The bliss doesn’t last long as it seems trouble follows her and Joe no matter how far they run.
Joe’s entire belief system is questioned when Sydney nearly dies at the hand of an attacker he can’t see - the spirit who turns out to be the man who killed his own family fifty years ago in Sydney’s own home. Meanwhile, Sydney’s ex has found them, leaving more bodies in his wake. These murders, hitting close to home, forces Joe to ignore the evil he can’t see to fight the one he can, leaving Sydney to face the spirit on her own.
Two Shades of Evil is a work of Paranormal Suspense and is complete at 92,000 words.
Thank you for your consideration.
Misty Waters
(phone number)
mistydawnwaters@gmail.com
http://mistydawnwaters.blogspot.com

ZOMG! So the coolness is THIS:

2010-12-09T11:34:00.000-05:00

Richelle Mead and ME!!

I met flippin' Richelle Mead. How effin' cool is THAT! And she's like this cute little person (who was clearly tired on her 2nd day of book signings).

It's been quite the exhausting/retardedly awesome couple of days for me. First, her final Vampire Academy book is released (finished its wonderfullness this morning and was so f*cking good I can't even stand it), then I meet bloggin' buddy Tracy (way coooool!!!), and lastly, I see her cuteness in person. It was quite the highlight of my Vampire Academy adventure. To make it sweeter, she read aloud the funniest part in her book - you know the one where you laugh so loud and hard that your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/son/daughter stare at you like you have 5 heads and wish you'd shut the hell up cuz there's something way better going on on the television and you're interrupting?
Yeah.
That one.
Anyway, so it was totally cool, and hopefully she passed on some of those lucky 'I'm a published author' vibes. I need me some of those bad boyz immediately.

So OKAY! Just a couple things off topic. . . .

Don't forget to sign up for Jodi's query blogfest! Who doesn't want some feedback on are awful queries plus a chance to win a professional edit on it? I'm most def gonna win, but that's neither here nor there. Just sayin.

ALSO! Enter for a chance to win "Across the Universe" by Beth Revis! Just head on over to Scribbler to Scribe! It's a book and signed swag, peeps! Easy to enter!! (or don't and just give me that extra one up)

Okie doke! Peace out, homies. Have a good one!!

You're killing my VA mood. Seriously people.

2010-12-06T15:08:00.000-05:00

Um, so, okay.

I don't usually whine, but the people at OWW are bashing my prologue and I'm sad. I was in a good mood cuz the new Vampire Academy will be in my hot little hands at midnight, but then this happened!

I'm sad.

I love my prologue and I love my book.

Leave my prologue alone, people. You're killing my VA mood.

Here.

Take this:

You deserve it.

Across the Universe

2010-12-03T23:24:00.001-05:00

In an effort to hide the fact that I’m going a little nuts inside over the upcoming release of the last Vampire Academy book, I want to make sure you’re all aware of this one:

If you don’t already follow Beth Revis . . . GO!

Her first novel, Across the Universe, comes out next month. Read the first chapter here – you won’t regret it. I’ve been dying ever since. Read CA Marshall’s book review here.

I haven’t looked forward to a book quite like this (nearly as much as Last Sacrifice and Shadowfever). It’s that damn first chapter! I’m telling you, that sh*t is good.

Oh, and Beth, if you happen to stop in today, um . . . I heart you. (In a non-stalkery kind of way, I swear.)